The Real McTeag

est 2012

UPDATED- I have watched about three (now up to 9) episodes of Star Trek Discovery. I don’t have any passion for this show.  I had mixed feelings going in but its worse than I feared. Not fun and heavily pilfered from a variety of successful sci -fi franchises (NONE of which were Star Trek). They even say “It’s not you, it’s me.” just like in Seinfield! Its harder to watch than the worst episode of Deep Space 9.

Instead of any kind of good or cohesive story its a freakish trip through other successful sci-fi franchises

At its worst, which it re-establishes several times an episode, its as maudlin and self important as the misguided ‘serious’ episodes of M*A*S*H.

Its boring, predictable and derivative. Familiar characters get horrible treatment. The writers research seems very cursory. Its not network quality. Its an even worse show than the shortest lived Law & Order spin-off.

Because I have now PTSD Im going to try to write my way to a place where I can forget the trauma and sleep. Yeah, its THAT bad.

At this point I must trash JJ Abrams greedy merchandise oriented creative decisions he selfishly made in his time at the Helm of the Final Frontier.  We split the timeline so we wouldnt have to revenue share toys and this is what we’re left with. The implications of his Star Trek franchise, which he’s now abandoned to ruin Star Wars, throws all shows out of cannon except PREQUELS of the original 1967 series. In other words, Enterprise and this. I guess the idea of a traditional Star Trek show was never considered. Certainly the writers are a bit handcuffed.

That said they did a shitty job. No respect for the fans or the material was shown. More of the Abrams era “Lets fix that awful Star Trek by killing its charms” approach.  Its not really an excuse. This is still Star Trek and big budget and good script could have come together, because things like the sets are a triumph most of the time. No such luck. They failed deliver a show you would want to watch or any likable characters for that matter. The lead is a Human female Reverse Spock who grew up on Vulcan. And that’s not even the worst or laziest part.

What went wrong? Apparently everything but mostly, in no real order, it’s that the shows few attempts at humor fail miserably. Then tone is self important and overly slick. All CGI special effects stops have been pulled out. You might be dazzled by a near future holographic subspace conference calls and a huge, even Bigly space battle, but you wont have any fun or crack a smile as the show just sort of happens.

Also lacking- Simple compassion. Its stark how little life seems worth to the Federation. We see characters in jeopardy, like a shuttle pilot who i guess dies for no reason except the dialogue was particularly cumbersome and bad for the preceding 5 minutes. You would expect the loss of any Star Fleet officer to deserve at least a remark, like how these awful people werent worth the loss, or that she had been recovered no thanks to them. The show lacks HUMANITY. In a universe of aliens its rudderless.

Here’s an example of how terrible it is- theres an episode called “The Butcher’s Knife Cares Not for The Lambs Cry”. Think about that! The episode with a Latin title, that i think means ‘seek peace, prepare for war’; seems like a real drag as I ponder pulling the plug on continued viewing. The episode titles are so flamingly bad that I wish they simply had numbered them instead.

In a typical low moment during episode 2 we are subjected to some kind of screaming conference call (via holograms)  between some pretty badly designed Klingon’s, complete with a flashback to a troubled Klingon childhood right out of Blade Runner 2049. It doesnt work at all, especially juxtaposed with an ethical debates amongst the Star Fleet characters.

So Much horrible. In THIS Star Trek show Klingon’s either yell or deliver lines (in Klingon) with Shakespearian stage kind of acting to I guess make the sheer drivel they’re saying seem important? Wait til you get to their enormous flag ship for a discussion of repairs and food! What a treat! Later we get more disrespect as its unveiled some Ronin-like honor-less Klingon’s had broken and rioted over food. Klingon’s TAKE things or die trying. These re-invented Kilingon’s are as bad as their garish costumes. Re-invented and experimentally designed to say the least. They’re Un-frightening total pussies who are easily beaten up by half dead humans.

bad_klingons.jpg

Some truly unfamiliar and badly designed Klingons

The show, such as it is, limps along depending on special effects and gets hamstrung by some of the worst Techno-Babble ever seen on the Final Frontier. Its not as good as even Voyager. Even worse, it takes itself very seriously (while showing that the writers did only cursory research into Trek Lore.)

Much of the time is taken up by the moralistic scientific subplot. This revolves around an emerging technology that we can easily foresee is sort of wrong and Un-Star Fleet, but hey, we got Klingon’s! So we’ll focus on the tension between the Scientific Explorers and the more military people in Star Fleet I guess?

I’m now on episode 9. Its not gotten any better or developed any sort of energy. The Scientific subplot is where the show goes most wrong and borrows, surprisingly, from Event Horizon, which was an ok movie but makes for TERRIBLE Star Trek! The masochistic “Spore Drive” is a really bad sci-fi barely re-imagined “Dance Dance Revolution”  video game, with screaming people stuck with fondue forks gyrating in a glass booth to flashing lights to control the ship. It’s not fun to watch. Its also merely pixie dust and rainbows and lacks any tactile qualities. Even just an enhanced Warp Drive with the stripper booth controls would have been less preposterous. The shows reach exceeding its grasp is just too generous a way to put it.

The show has no feel of Trek at all. Its not as good as even Babylon 5 (from which it has appropriated some bad ideas). The ship is even kind of boring looking with a better development story than result (long story short- it was rejected in the 70s and looks like a Star Wars Star Destroyer).

Maybe the re-tasked Horta-like “Tardograde”, creature they keep in bondage is supposed to be a bone thrown to the the fans? Because its a lot like a creature from a GOOD trek show? Ok but it actually looks pretty bad when we get a good look at it, and is completely irrelevant, propping up their bad technical experiment story.  This subplot just hangs around to justify the engineer characters reluctance to be a military weapons developer.

I cant blame any actors for lurching and scenery chewing through this mess. I mean, William Shatners pure bluster DOES float a few episodes of the Original Series, so who could blame anyone for tucking in and going with it?

Although it seems like an intervention was trued around episode 7 its taken far too long for us to meet the new crew and see the new ship. To boot its totally underwhelming after the wait.

Oh yeah and Vulcan Logic has become somehow like The Force. Because this is an amalgam of other successful NON STAR TREK Franchises! The end result of this is lots of  unbelievably bad magical communicating between the Spock-like Burnham character and the poor actor who has to play Sarek. Pissing all over the Spock origin story and providing a human sibling comes next and is just not fun to hear about in a mutual outer body experience. It’s that fast and loose with major cannon.

I hope they dont try to keep this idea going. Its Un-Worthy.

Star-Trek-Discovery

some overly Self Important official art

What does Star Trek Discovery deliver? Ok the special effects are awesome. They have some pretty well made aliens among the terribly done Klingons. If you were one of those who hated the show Enterprise for its title sequence have no fear, the title sequence might be the best thing in this wreck.

discovery

What they basically confess is a ship inspired by Star Wars

Its Unimaginative, its no fun and it depends on special effects. Some plot devices are plain bad, Beaming from deck to deck is a small issue. The funtioning holodeck 100 years too soon is more troubling. Worse, it was not even needed. It was just to work in more special effects. Engineering features retinal scanner that only scans, I guess eye fluid? It was back in Blade Runner territory on that one.

Boring, disappointing and action packed this stupid show is should be called Star Trek Disappointment. They need everyone to die in a final episode to wash Trek clean. Watch The Orville, its closer to Star Trek than this mess!

Im now up to episode 9 and the heavy handedness is of toxic proportions.

This show is such a disaster I may skip to the last episode just in the hopes they go in a Rogue 1 direction and KILL ALL THESE AWFUL CHARACTERS, SHIPS AND PLOTS!

Do Not Engage with this garbage!

For the post on the episode A Piece of the Action click here 

For the Post on the episode A Taste of Armageddon click here

For the post in the episode The Doomsday Machine click here

7 thoughts on “Star Trek’s Disappointing Discovery

  1. I wonder if it’s so bad because so few people bother to read anymore, so really have no idea how to write. As an example, the early Twilight Zone episodes were often written by actual writers, like Ray Bradbury. They were also produced by Rod Serling, who himself wrote well, and certainly appreciated quality writing. I think too many of today’s writer/directors are video fans first, writers second. They grew up watching certain shows, and now try (poorly) to emulate them, but they never really learned to put in the hard work that it takes to become a quality writer.
    On the other hand, much of British T.V. is still so good because it is written by literate people who come from a long tradition of quality writing. So you have, for example, Steven Moffat writing and for both Sherlock and Dr. Who.
    And when Americans do bother to read, it is usually the same half-dozen writers who’ve been writing since around 1979. There are so many other really good writers out there, if you know where to look.

    1. Ive just about finished up with somewhat obscure Philip K Dick. Hes a sci-fi master. no one has gotten his stuff right. The Star Trek Discovery issue is the writers seem unfamiliar with star trek, hateful of star trek and dependent on flashy effects and attractive cast members to power through passionless dissertations on Galactic Politics viva like 3 different boring kinds of conference calls. They really are trying to make it into star wars and leave it on a 4th grade level. Its just bad in so many ways. Good title sequence would be the lone merit. Theres totally a case to be made that they are careful and uncreative.

      1. You’re right about Philip K. Dick. Haven’t seen the Star Trek Discovery series you wrote about. Now I suppose I’m much less likely to watch it. Sounds dreadful.
        Not a lot of great Sci-Fi in recent years.

      2. the blade runner sequel, the last planet of the apes and the road warrior sequel are like the best three sci-fi movies of the last say 4 years. that first rebooted planet of the apes w james franco was excellent but its like 10 years old now? the second one was just bad
        the PKD movies are too rewritten, never catches the spirit of his work. The Man in the High castle tv show was a disappointment too. This Star Trek show never gets it together in my opinion. the best thing is a big space battle in episode 2. i would say skip terrible episode 1, the beat all the plots to death in the re-stated dialogue, youll pick it right up

      3. I loved Blade Runner: Fury Road. Fantastic film. Never got around to seeing Blade Runner 2049, though I wish I had. Blade Runner: Director’s Cut (the original) is one of my all-time favorites. I only saw the first of the re-booted Planet of the Apes, and I did like it. I tend to watch more horror than Sci-Fi. Probably too much.

      4. the blade runner sequels now available to rent or stream. its actually very good and the best movie of a PKD material, maybe because theres no book to ruin. It IS a slower movie and really expands their world. It was criticized as overly brain-y . you have to have some passion for the writer. that director mustve read every title. Its very complete

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