The Real McTeag

est 2012

Celebrating his recent Total Victory in The War on Christmas, General Bone Spurs has ordered the nations military to parade around saluting him.

So far the parade sounds like a bad mashup of a Nazi Documentary meets HMS Pinafore in an avoidable AMTRAK style train wreck. Who needs crazy social experiments like comrade-napoleon1 Meals on Wheels when life can simply take on somewhat more phony dignity? Certainly feels like the part of Animal Farm where daily, coordinated displays of pride are substituted for things like food and time off to me.

So Comrade Napoleon-I mean Trump, will waste a ton of tax payer cash to stroke his ego and finally (in his mind)  put to rest questions about him being a fuckin coward too scared to fight in Nam.

Look at the man and ask yourself “Did he handle losing his hair well? Better than say, someone I would actually trust with my money? Or my kids?” The answers no. I’m not sure I could so much as rent an apartment from a person with a hair helmet who chose to go out covered in orange body paint. Trump is a man so vain he couldn’t stand the thought of people NOT thinking he spent most of his time lying around in the sun while simultaneously pretending to be a work-a-holic with little time for pleasure. Yes America, you voted in a complete asshole. Probably. Unless it was Putin, who knows? Now he needs to see all his toys at once.

The parade could be even sillier than I’ve so far imagined. For instance, 500 tanks rolling down Pennsylvania Avenue followed by 500 more Missiles all grinding the asphalt into a bunch of hellish slabs for our brave soldiers to stumble through while presumably Seig Heil-ing King Shit (who we already know will set up the reviewing stand in front of his stupid DC hotel). Nko

Trump’s own petulance and lack of any sensitivity towards people will have to be planned around to avoid embarrassng gaffes. Some of the many many problems are easy to foresee. Top of my head? Ok, what of the gay and trans-gendered troops forced march around in this stupid step show? Will our bigot president allow it? Imagine his seething anger if he catches sight of anything that displeases him. He could easily explode in anger if-

  • there’s a large contingent of female Marines.
  •  Or maybe a couple of transgendered Army Doctors.
  • Or should he spot one of the Gold Star Families he so despises.
  • Or if it rains.
  • Or if there’s a protest (there will be a protest).
  • Or worse.

And lets not forget that Trump will, as always, be grinding several axes when the parade goes down. Will he attack NFL players? Or be brooding over election results (it IS in November). Will he make a speech where he directly says that the Democrats are murderers and treasonous again? Rest assured the Divider-In-Chief will find a way to embarrass the military and all of the citizens with any brains.

We have a long, shameful path to walk before this proposed nightmare in November. With any luck someone at the Pentagon will remember its the 100th Anniversary of the End of World War I and provide some cover for this naked celebration of Trump. A tasteful WWI commemoration is a great way out of this mess. Sadly it would end up as a celebration of a Segregated Military and probably a full throated call to militarism in the hands of these jackasses.


2 thoughts on “General Bone Spurs Bigly Military Parade

  1. Glad you brought up WWI. I’ve been thinking for a while now how the world today increasingly resembles the years leading up to the Great War. Increasing jingoism, militarism, strong-man-style leadership, a return to the belief that God is on “our” side, etc. We may be celebrating the end of one World War while setting the stage for yet another.
    Worst thing Macron could have done was to invite Donny Two-Scoops to sit with him for a couple of hours in front of that parade.
    One other thing. With Trump, everything is a quid-pro-quo. By throwing this big party for the military, what will he expect from them in return? Unquestioned loyalty from his generals, should he decide to launch a foolish war. Perhaps even a little marshal law in the streets this summer should Black Lives Matter/ANTIFA become a little too aggressive for his taste?
    I wonder how long a vacation in Canada I can afford?


    1. the WW1 analogies are everywhere. Thinking the strongman comes in as nations are stressed under ar. At this point it might analogize more to the early war where you have some leaders still calling themselves their version of “Caesar” like the Kaiser. They were seen as almost divinely placed. It took a couple of years of disasterous war before anyone questioned them. Only the british monarchy survives the war. Canadian citizenship is probably something worth looking in to


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