The Real McTeag

est 2012

The 2023 Star Trek movie WILL NEVER HAPPEN. The whole “Super Secret” project is a scam to force Paramount to continue making the horrible TV shows. How can I be so sure? For starters- the cast quit years ago. Next would be the studios refusal to accept an offer from Quentin Tarantino and lastly would be the total lack of achievement by the so-called writers and alleged director.

Star Trek is unwatchable. Only lies and coercion keep it on the air. Alex Kurtzman has given CBS and fans nothing remotely viewable. The show KILLED CBS All Access and will kill Paramount Plus. We know there will be an obscure patchwork new cast or no movie at all when this sham is over. Most likely of all is they will have some of season 6 of Star Trek Discovery released in theaters if anything. This alleged project is a hardcore lie.

This is the THIRD time this project has been announced and the least well regarded people to ever be associated with Big Screen Trek in such prominent creative roles. For publicity we have– still pictures?? Of Chris Pine and and the ‘cast’ from the set of Star Trek Beyond?? This is the best they could do. Its farsical.

Here’s their scam – to be forced to continue to make Star Trek no matter what there only has to be a movie ANNOUNCED. The Bad Robot and Secret Hideout’s Contract lawyers are much better than their writers. The movie has never been cancelled – but is maybe 6 years late when you factor in how behind Star Trek Beyond’s release ended up being- in 2016 – seven years after the first. Bad Robot spawned Secret Hideout to handcuff CBS and Paramount into losing a ton of money on shows we had been told would be Abrams work.

Earlier this month Digital Spy reported we were more likely to get Chris Hemsworth as Kirk this time around. That will be VERY weird seeing as how he died on screen in the 2009 movie playing Kirk’s dad. They also credit Simon Pegg with saying he didn’t think the reboot cast would have any involvement. Chris Pine seemed to be sending all calls from the Star Trek people straight to HIS AGENTS voicemail. He expressed he had no clue what was going on and woudn’t know anything before the fans. Personally I think Pine has earned the right to leave this sinking ship.

So called Executive Producer JJ Abrams- the genius who gave us Rise of Skywalker- is busy getting paid by DC to destroy Superman. So we get Matt Shakman as director.

Who might Matt Shakman be? Well, he’s NOT Noah Hawley, creator of TV series FARGO or Quentin Tarantino- BUT he did direct slapstick comedy TV gem “Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia” and subversively hilarious “Children’s Hospital” – which runs about 12 minutes an episode So he’s got real experience in madcap comedy. Mostly he’s directed Improv actors using a very loose script. How this prepares you for a Sci-Fi thriller is anyone’s guess.

The cast is gone. They likely wont be back. The director does comedy and some of the most forgettable, bad episodes from the end of Game of Thrones.

Matt is also the Genius behind WANDAVISION- the most unwatchably cringey take on what should have been a good idea ever. Call it his signature project. I’m sure he doesn’t mind the only comparisons he will ever get to Quentin Tarantino for a movie that will NEVER happen.

Though the episodes of WANDAVISION were brief; they were insufferably bad and felt like 2 hour movies. By episode three most people had had enough. Too bad there were SIX MORE! Anyone dumb enough to keep watching got perhaps the worst ending and most skin-crawling reveal ever. I had SUCH a bad headache after episode three i had to start watching the show in 5 minute increments. I could not work up the enthusiasm to watch the whole 19 minutes of story any given week.

This show went for moral ambiguity- Marvel and Disney’s new fixation – and failed miserably. The character of Wanda was starkly evil. The attempt at being nuanced was pretty much stillborn.

Wanda wasn’t having some kind of breakdown- shes a total sociopath. The show lacked all self awareness.

What we saw onscreen didn’t match what the show told us (like LOKI). Wanda is a mass kidnapper and torturer! Not even children are safe! Scarlet Witch needs to somehow be caught and punished for what she did to a medium sized town! The child characters she tortured or their distraught parents are only good if they were looking to create a Minor Villains Backstory in the future. I would totally believe in the damage of any person who was forced to be part of Wanda’s delusion.

The show tells us she’s just dealing with her pain and that its all no big deal when Wanda is confronted and we find out whats happening. The shows final episode was a complete fail as bad as Falcon and the Winter Soldier’s!

When the truth comes out Wanda is not all that regretful, more like embarrassed (as she should be). She just splits after simply saying “oops, sorry” to her victims. The show seems to tell us she was right all along to do what she did. This is only true if you’re profoundly immoral.

If Matt Shakman released a statement saying the story he got was so bad he was trolling us he would be more respected. He would also probably never work again. Shakman is a wild card AT BEST.

Honestly, Wanda’s on par with David Koresh or Jim Jones for what she did. Shes not morally ambiguous, she’s horribly evil.This character has been so assassinated it should ONLY be used as a Villain, if at all. The next time we see Wanda Maximov she needs to be in JAIL. Dont forget that Matt is also the genius behind some of the most loathed episodes of Game of Thrones. So he’s got Action in his toolbox too. What a Renaissance man!

The apparent head writer is Lindsey Beer, whose IMDB headshot is kind of stunning. Thats as impressive as it gets though. Most of her very few projects are obscure, not as a writer or knock off versions of better properties- like an Unfinished Pet Sematary project that’s been ‘Filming’ since 2018.

We can only hope its as amazing as her (only) other movie “Sierra Burgess is a Loser.” Sporting a 30 PERCENT AUDIENCE SCORE on Rotten Tomatoes. The movies Genres are “Cheerleader” and “Bullying.” IMDB describes this brilliant film thusly –

Initially mistaken for a psychotic thriller, the main character Sierra Burgess goes on wacky misadventures as she catfishes a guy she likes, humiliates a girl who was nothing but nice to her because she ended up with a girl that Sierra doesn’t deserve and sexually assaults said guy. Wow, what a romantic movie

The first thing the reviewer does is claim ignorance, apologize and make sure to say they only watched the movie BY MISTAKE thinking it was something else!

Either that or the movie was seriously mislabelled and deceptively marketed. Despite being initially confused (or deceived) the critics hung in there but still didn’t enjoy any of the movie. Sounds like great stuff,huh? I cant wait to not watch this. Im already actively avoiding experiencing this movie.

I guess another possibility is that the writer was going for a romance or thriller and missed the mark so badly they made the hero evil by mistake. If true it would also mean the writer was clueless and failed to create what they set out to. This thing sounds like a mockery, honestly.

So Lindsey Beer will look great when she gets a check for doing nothing.

Also penning and getting paid for this Star Trek Ponzi Scheme is none other than Geneva Robertson-Dworet, who also has a headshot on IMDB. And just a smidge more.

She’s the creative tour de force behind TWO co-opted ideas that were made into terrible movies. A 2018 Tomb Raider movie everyone thought could have been better and the canon-destroying and utterly incoherent Captain Marvel. A movie with a Rotten Tomatoes Audience score of 45% that fails in every way but financially. It was absolutely dishonestly marketed.

Billed as an integral part of the INFINITY WAR Saga-it was not. People held their noses and sat through horrible Captain Marvel fearing they would miss out on Key Information. This was not the case. The movie also never comes together. We know very little about Captain Marvel except she’s super strong and a woman when this thing ends. In this movie we have so many montages that we have a montage within a montage.

After experiencing this movie people were scouring the internet for information – were they on their phones during the movie trying to piece it together and missed some of the awfulness? Marvel considers that ‘engagement’ I guess. When all was said and done the deal was- she’s very powerful and will be there with the Avengers.

Its about as much info as we had from FORTNITE going into The Rise of Skywalker. We know theres a person whose super powerful who will be around for and in the movie. Boom. That’s all you get. THE DEAD SPEAK!

If I told you “one person the Avengers are really counting on is just a female Superman with a reverse origin tale” you’d have known more than you needed to know to see Infinity War. So this movie succeeds despite the story because it was supposedly the AVENGERS FINALES CONJOINED TWIN!

The movie was so good that the characters time in the Infinity War/ Endgame movies was immediately minimized and the direct sequel scrapped.

How bad is Captain Marvel? Its about as flawed a movie as you could make. Captain Marvel has continuity issues, contradicts Nick Fury’s established origin story and has several scenes of gleeful mass murder.

The jokes don’t land, its overly simple yet still doesn’t add up. Much of plot is never really explained. I left thinking Brie Larson was last years chick and that maybe she can’t act. Samuel L Jackson and her were fine in KONG SKULL ISLAND- which is a mediocre flick too – but a much better one. Embarrassing movie Captain Marvel makes Jackson seem like a non fan who can’t be bothered to pay attention to his own recurring role. Everyone touched by this movie except the already washed up Jude Law took damage from it EXCEPT Geneva- though critics and fans took note.

Analysis makes this movie even worse. It was a movie made because Brie Larson’s career was hot at that moment-and this movie cooled that off, fast! The other reason might just be for memes.

I guess Geneva hoped you were Tweeting through this (because paying any attention destroys immersion immediately). The truly boring and incoherent story never explains a damn thing and she clearly didn’t research the other movies. This script was fired off in less time than it takes to watch the movie.

So Geneva has given us two movies with huge budgets and advertising but cant crack 50% with audiences. Both her scripts were notable only as Obstacles the cast had to overcome. Both held back their movies from greater success.

It’s a good thing her co-creator Lindsey Beer has experience as a continuity consultant – because Captain Marvel is mess of a movie that self contradicts several times. For instance – Captain Marvel only needs a spacesuit sometimes. She kinda like a more powerful Space Leia – and I don’t know if i would bet on her or Rey in a fight.

Captain Marvel simply organically discovers her abilities when in a bad situation. When falling she simply decides to fly. The soundtrack is a good mixtape that makes no contribution to the movie.

At some point I endured a superhero brawl between Brie Larson and an old lady who was actually a shape shifting alien. I’ll just leave that right there.

The movie is completely tone deaf and lacks any awareness. Captain Marvel is completely nonchalant and over confident during murder sprees. The climax of the movie features Captain Marvel using her Super-Powers – which is some kind of energy blasts and that she is impervious to everything. So she uses herself as a projectile – and flies through two or three alien spaceships. This could not have been more preposterous to behold and not a thought was given to the implications of Captain Marvels ctions. It’s a little like Man of Steel that way.

In fact if you like Zack Snyder movies you’ll probably enjoy this. It makes little sense. The dialogue is edge-y nonsense. The action scenes happen out of nowhere and the chain of events doesn’t add up!

While she starts with small fighters the last ship is as big as an Imperial Star Destroyer, she blows it to pieces along with thousands of crew while cheering herself on and staring down the Baddies. There were no apparent survivors of the sorta Thanos-lookin warship she flys through. She utterly destroys the hull. Possibly 20 million dollars in CGI right there. And its sort of underwhelming. Its unimpressive to be honest. You spend most of the scene processing what they tried to slip by and then all the stupid hits you like a sonic boom.

Captain Marvel intimidates the surviving edgey aliens into ditching their plan with no help- just a dirty look. This had Captain Marvel very self satisfied as the triumphant music played. It was an accidental horror movie.

Maybe the fact the character is an overpowered blank slate will help the next person.

Apparently, Captain Marvel was too tarnished for her own sequel. Now she will go on to be part of a superpowered duo or team called The Marvels. So, so much for that. Geneva was NOT asked to help write this NOR was she asked to have a role in creating the Tomb Raider sequel.

The cast are gone. The director is best known for slapstick comedy. The head writer has never made a movie thats been in theaters. The co-writer has two poorly regarded scripts and has never been retained for a sequel to her own work.

I wouldnt wait around to be part of this either and thats part of why I truly respect Chris Pine for walking away first. The talented and versatile actor can make a ton of money saving more worthy movies. In fact; if not for Star Trek Into Darkness he’d be a bigger star right now. Star Trek hurt his career a little by making him the face of their bad movies.

More people split the moment they saw the studio wasn’t really serious or trying to get Tarantino- who begged to do it – nor would they let Simon Pegg continue as writer despite his Trek movie being a bit better than the other 2 new ones. Then they pretended to be interested in a project and had Noah Hawley waste his time so they could announce the project and then shelve that iteration of the movie just about this time last year.

The cast may have more movies in their deals- but the last movie was supposed to be like five years ago. The contracts aren’t that binding anymore as far as anyone knows. Karl Urban and Zoe Saldana are listed as “Rumored” but surely have better things to do. Saldana is working on AVATAR 2 and Karl Urban is doing really well. His MCU movie went fine (Thor-Ragnorak) and everyone loves him on The Boys.

There’s 13 pop songs from the 90s to help her dull MCU movie feel real. The first Suicide Squad has 16 songs for comparison. MTV hasn’t played that much music in two hours this century!

How hard did Geneva make it for the TOMB RAIDER reboot to get to 50% fresh? Here’s what The Rotten Tomatoes Critic Consensus says;

‘Tomb Raider reboots the franchise with a more grounded approach and a star who’s clearly more than up to the task — neither of which are well served by an uninspired origin story.‘ In other words this movie succeeded IN SPITE of the script – which held it back.

In fact the script was called out as the worst thing an artistic project can be labelled – UNINSPIRED. This was despite having a previous series of films and a bunch of videogames to draw on. Apparently Geneva does NO RESEARCH. She just fires off a page full of words and starts the next one.

This will all be directed by a comedic director…because WHY NOT at this point?

This is all a sham so talentless loser Alex Kurtzman and his band of Non-Twilight Teenage Vampire novel writers can keep and continue to ruin Star Trek. Like they ruined the Hawaii Five-0 reboot, the MacGyver reboot and the Silence of the Lambs Hannibal Lecter thriller- without Hannibal Lecter – one season and cancelled crime drama ‘Clarice’.

Alex Kurtzman and his team are the real life equivalent of the Aliens from Independence Day. They’re like locusts. They acquire Other Peoples Property and cannibalize it until it ends up merely the dishonoring of a corpse. Secret Hideout is the perfect name for this production company. I wouldnt show my face in public either!

Secret Hideouts Message to Fans

Wouldn’t be great if we ALL got a TV show to kill and got rich for it? Its hard to imagine WHY anyone would give the creators of the very lowest rated scripted show on CBS ANYTHING- but it keeps happening. The writing has been early grade school level since we went down this Kelvin path with JJ in 2009.

Boring, incoherent and totally unaware of itself, new self important Star Trek has accumulated SEVEN seasons across three bad titles and is about to REALLY open the firehose with a LOT MORE BAD CONTENT. You think Short Treks were bad? Wait til you see Strange New Worlds- which I am guessing involves no exploring at all. Like Picard the title is a Bait & Switch.

This new Star Trek cant be bothered to go explore a planet. All they do is save every single person everywhere from an ill defined genocide- every single season of Picard and Discovery we have so far. They are Five for Five in unwatchable 10 hour stories about Genocide. Throw in the nonstop virtue signalling and you can see why all the former fans are now haters and all the new fans would watch hand shadows and applaud. This has had an interesting effect on the fans and the leading pundits. They rejected the repeated poorly relayed Left Wing Messages and embraced real life Sci-Fi like COVID denial. They really rebelled against the shows.

I’m saying these shows LOOK to divide people. The result is its HARMING us in small, real ways. For instance- its driven the discourse on sci-fi podcasts hard right. I blame Disney, Paramount, CBS, and even Facebook for enabling this.

So again- in so many words–the writers of the 2023 Star Trek Movie thats never going to happen are an unknown script editor whose one ‘right to Netflix’ movie has a 30% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes working with the writer of Captain Marvel; an incoherent mess that has a Rotten Tomatoes audience score of 45%, and Tomb Raider 2018 – a whopping 50% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes (because the star was likeable and there was lots of action).

When Nerdrotic or Doomcock stop talking about sci-fi to push hard right politics it sucks. I blame Paramount and DISNEY. Ironically, the Youtubers are doing what DISNEY and PARAMOUNT would want politically. They play their games and pretend to love everyone, but DISNEY, PARAMOUNT and Hollywood in general only love Dead Presidents!


Disney’s idea of Leadership

This so called ‘Movie Project’ is a Hoax! It either will not happen or will be an All ‘New Trek’ joint. The idea that Star Trek Discovery could fail its way to the big screen is disheartening. This whole thing is a scam. Its just a matter of when its admitted to. No one expects a GOOD or RESPECTFUL Star Trek movie from this team- who no one wants writing and directing Star Trek in the first place.

If they DO make some kind of Star Trek movie with these creators it just wont have the cast or the characters that most fans want. Most likely this money is slowly siphoned off to save the shows- which NO ONE WATCHES, so hopefully there will be nothing left for the movie. Most likely they will use this cash to fund another season of their bad shows and burn the investors like they burned the fanbase.

Star Trek Fans- ABANDON SHIP!

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