Book of Boba Fett Ending has Knee Rockets

The Book of Boba Fett was a TV show, beyond that things are unclear. The show seemed to have been the story of Boba Fett for four long, interminably boring episodes. Then we found out unrelated stories from The Mandalorian, the Star Wars Prequels, the Original Trilogy and Clone Wars were all in the mix for the finale.

The show started out bad and confusing. Episode 5 and to a lesser degree Episode 6 managed to achieve ‘engaging and confusing’ at times. Episode 7 was as bipolar and confusing as any other point in this disparate mess but just not enjoyable. While some could call the final episode “Action Packed” or possibly mistake it for exciting, the truth is that we ended downstream of where we started.

This unsatisfying show is best avoided. The events and occurrences just cant be called a story. This was two and half or three shows in seven episodes. I’m not sure I want to watch any of the shows except maybe the Mandalorian anymore, either. It strikes me this is a lot like being a New York Jets fan, so some of us are prepared!

The final episode, seventh of this limited run series I hope does not come back, has some events but is mostly one long medium intensity battle for control of Mos Eisley.

Everyone who ever figured into this mess shows up or makes some contribution. From the Original Trilogy we get a cameo from R2. From the Prequels we have Boba aka Jango Fett actor Temeura Morrison. The Disney-Favreau-Filoni Mando-Verse gives us all the rest of our characters. Han Solo played by Harrison Ford does not appear despite having been revealed as an episode 7 cast member on IMDB.

Its pretty hard to say exactly what happened to this show or why it became two and half unrelated shows. The leading theory is it was tanking so hard and fast Disney decided enough was enough. They scrapped the second half of the show in favor of episodes of the Mandalorian while a new, less bad ending was created as fast as possible. For whatever reason we took two episodes off from the continuity of the Boba Fett story and then simply plugged back in later to bring things to an end.

The best description of this spectacle really just might be “we’ve seen worse.” Still by the end we kept most of the wrong people alive and really just made a lot of confusing noise. The majority of episode 7 is just a mess of a fight scene. Along the way ‘memberberries’, fans service and other contrivances come in to the mix like some ice cream to help ease down bad medicine.

The episode starts with a fearful tease of what would have been a horrible Luke Skywalker cameo. Thankfully it’s simply that R2 is chaperoning Grogu to rejoin the Mandalorian. We have completely blown off showing his choice but we eventually see he has the ‘mithril shirt’ the Armorer made him from the Beskar Spear. So Luke Skywalker is actually a terrible guardian- but is not in the episode.

Early on there’s some dialogue between a war weary Fennec and a taciturn Boba Fett. Neither of them seem to believe what they are saying. The maudlin dialogue simply tells us that for a while there has been conflict.

We check in and accidentally dunk hard on all of Boba’s pals in the form of the Mods, the Gamorreans and Black Kryssantan. Also, Boba is consciously trying to avoid the new ‘Mandalorian Way’ – being a motor-mouthed idiot. It’s too late for that to have much effect though, not to mention he really does simply have to say a few things at this point.

The Gamorreans do NOT make it to the end but some of the Mods do. When we see the Mod’s they still look wrong, but they seem mildly retooled and calmed down compared to the past. Their gear and vehicles will always look wrong and are pretty unsaveable though. The Mods were too dissimilar and hurt this world.

The boring characters who survive this episode do not, however, include Cad Bane. Boba kills this idiot of a character and rids our world of him. So that’s a plus, because they never raised Cad Bane above “Cloned Iron Maiden Mascot with a Star Wars Makeover” anyway.

The nearly episode long fight scene is a tactical disaster. No one would ever think the forces were well distributed even if Fennec says that. She thinks their is flank protected, but it’s not. The plan they have gone for is to spread out and leave some of their people too isolated to prevail in the conflict. While the Mandalorians do use their jetpacks- its not smart or coordinated.

Early on the Pyke Syndicate blatantly admit to being the ones who killed the Sand People right to Cad Bane and the audience. We have no idea if Boba has figured this out. The Sand People were ‘avenged’ when Boba Air-Strike-d the Nikto bikers asses in the desert. Still, Fennec ended up being right about the Nikto’s inability to even take on the Tuskens.

The fight scenes are more just there taking up time than good. While you could see the CGI renderers and everyone else were doing the best they could, the show was still frustrating and dumb. How dumb? There are several volleys of knee rocket fire and there’s some unbelievably bad ‘clustering bird’ use by Mando. There’s also a nearly (but not quite) enjoyable ride on a baby Rancor (that seems to have survived the episode). The best thing one can do with episode 7 is watch it and get it over with.

If there’s a highpoint to the action it’s when our two chowder-headed mandalorian’s take on some giant MCU robots that are pretty close to the ED-2000 of Robocop fame. They have shielding tech installed and the two Iron Man types struggle to take them out. There’s moments of Snyder-Cut level cringe, like when Mando tries to use his new Darksaber. He’s much better with it this week though and manages a Justice League-like amputation of part of one MCU robots attack appendages.

We break a lot of rules, especially the Rule of Cool for Wookie Black Kryssantan. He is inept until the story needs him to be tough. We see Kryssantan go down a few times only to shake it off. He on and off needs assistance. He can walk til he cant, then he can again. Multiple blaster shots stun him a little for a while and he takes at least one shot in the leg, but he makes it to the end of the fight. He’s not really hobbled for more then a few seconds by the round in his leg either.

This show was a total failure. The fans noticed and then made a point of looking away and not looking back. It seems like the people at Disney finally felt some shame- after some really punishing financial realities that they had convinced themselves were just mean people on the internet didn’t go away…. since The Last Jedi.

The state of Star Wars is a shambles. The last few movies have been bad, there’s serious lack of interest in the hotel, this show has been a bust and there’s nothing on the calendar with a release date as far as I can tell. The Kenobi Show, for instance, simply says “Coming in 2022.” The idea the Kenobi show can be rolled out at all at any point this year seems unlikely even speaking about it in February. I’m not sure I can work up any kind of enthusiasm for Star Wars anytime soon either.

In the world of “Searching for Positives” all we really can say “This could have been worse.” If we were to be overly generous we maybe even could say “They tried to change directions as best they could.” The truth is this show never needed to happen. There’s already one Mandalorian in this universe and that really seems to be enough. The writers already cloned Boba Fett’s story and look to make Mando and then poached some of his traits to make Fennec. There was simply nothing left to work with.

If we ever return to Tatooine- and there’s really no hurry- Cobb Vanth will now likely be a Mod. The last thing we see in this disaster is the return of The Modifier, with his hair and gear a bit more controlled (but not much better). I predicted this when we saw him way back when mod-ing Fennec. He’s about to set to work on the injured, unconscious Vance(shot last week by Cad Bane).

The re-modified Modifier standing by a Bacta Tank in front of a corpse that WILL go on whether it should or not really was a fitting way to end this show and a real referendum on the state of Star Wars.

In the next few months Disney might finally figure out what Star Wars is, but just like with their movies, on TV they have convinced people it’s just fine to wait for more or even just move on. For 7 mind-numbing weeks we’ve followed this inept show as it imploded and then replaced itself. Then we just jammed the end of the story together- allegedly after some reshoots as late as last week.

Coming out the other end of Book of Boba Fett this is where we stand ‘in-universe’- a big chunk of Tatooine is now under the enlightened protection of Boba Fett and Freetown is the biggest settler faction. There are currently no Hutts or Pyke troubling the planet. Mando and Baby Yoda end up traveling away from the end of this bad story to do whatever. They still have the inappropriate Naboo Starfighter and Grogu travels in the droid slot like we feared. It looked pretty dumb, honestly. Mando needs an appropriate ship or a serious modification on this one.

We all need to ask ourselves if this is actually Star Wars in any real sense at this point. It’s now familiar, boring, reliably dumb and far from profound. A lot of the time it looks cheap and non-cinematic. We have had Tekno music.

I will be staying away from the merchandise and avoiding rewatching this show. We all need a break from Tatooine. I’ll be releasing an autopsy of how this show screwed up, but for now I just can’t think about this boring, inconsequential story any more.

Thanks for reading and indulging my perspective. I care about your reactions as well; you can comment right here! I hope you enjoyed this review, please consider liking this post and maybe following this blog here on WordPress. The Twitter for TRM is @CaptainTeag

Til Next Time!

By Captain Teag

Welcome Aboard! The Captain logs reviews of Pop Culture, movies and TV, Disney, MCU, DCEU, Star Trek, Star Wars, War Movies and MORE! Feel free follow and join my motley crew! Today the we Sail the Ship into History! After 10 years I think I'm finally getting the hang of this! Likes GREATLY Appreciated! CHEERS!

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