She-Hulk Attorney at Law kept it brief in a 30 minute break neck paced episode 1.
After a not so successful meeting ends with her alone in her office, She Hulk breaks the Fourth Wall right away. She tells us she’s been a hulk for a while and it’s no big deal. A few people know, but it’s pretty much a secret. She catches us up with some 1st person narration of the episode, which is mostly flashback.
The actress playing Jen is conspicuously short and thin. She’s tiny. Maybe on paper having this person be the alter ego of She Hulk made sense or sounded fun, but it’s merely disconcerting. Shes a brunette who seems to comb her hair with firecrackers. The She-Hulk transformation even changes the texture of her hair. This CGI does not make it seem like we were seeing a Hulk-ed out version of the same person.
Then the flashback starts. That’s when things start to happen so fast it’s actually hard to process.
A UFO cuts off Bruce and Jen as they drive and they plunge off a cliff in the car. So much for destroying ‘the myth’ women can’t drive, she was not looking at the road while she obsessed on a dumb rant.
The UFO just shows up like this is normal. It’s showing up is hand-waved away, described by Bruce as something to think on later. It was sort of like when Mas Cannata just happened to have the Anakin’s lightsaber and said she’d explain how she got it later (and never does). It easily could have been a truck or another vehicle or even deer, but it’s a UFO.
Bruce has some new tech to keep him from transforming. The Inhibitor works so well that even the car crash doesn’t make him transform.
Instead it has Bruce bloody, out cold and in need of saving. Four foot tall Jen drags Bruce away from the wreck. In the process of this hard to buy rescue Bruce bleeds on her. With that at exactly five minutes she first transforms into She Hulk. Then things get deeply weird.
After transforming back into Jen (unseen by us) our heroine stumbles into a bar looking like what she is – someone who just survived a bad car crash. Rather than walk up to the door and ask someone for help she sneaks into the bar and hits the bathroom.
There she’s ambushed by a group of kooky women who give her a bad tramp-y makeover (rather than needed first aid). The whole scene was needlessly bizarre and not at all funny. It just filled the screen with manic people blabbering for a while.
After some cringe domestic violence jokes Jen stumbles outside to wait for Bruce to pick her up. The first men she encounters sort of harass her, triggering her second change into She Hulk. They apparently don’t live to regret it.
I guess she kills them. We can’t tell. Looks pretty fatal though.
So about ten minutes into this mess She-Hulk stumbles out of a dumpy roadhouse and just kills at least two of the first people she sees…..for talking to her weird. Maybe they deserved to be called assholes, but we already substituted makeup for first aid, so I’m not sure what this show is saying about anyone.
After she transforms she blacks out as she starts to attack and they save more money by not showing what had to be these men dying from what happens.
UPDATE- MCU Stan’s say I stupidly missed the Hulk stopping her attack. So she at least wanted to kill them. I’m not rewatching this to be sure. Twice was enough. Her intentions aren’t in doubt though, she at least attempted murder…..or being talked to weird. She later claims to have only been blacked out the first time the She-Hulk manifests. So she was in control and made a decision to kill or at least attack. Very heroic.
It’s all edited very badly. It’s a blur. It’s also really badly shot. They completely blew this important tone setting scene. Judging from the online discussions no one can really tell what happened the first time they watch it.
When Jen knows what’s going on again she’s in bed (as Jen) recovering at Bruce’s Mexican beach cabana lab. Like Moon Knight, this show cuts away from the action every time our hero fights.
Rather then explain the UFO or throw in a line about how her outburst luckily didn’t kill anyone, the show is too busy getting to the part where one character just tells the other character how great they are rather than showing us. Bruce is way too impressed and lauds Jen.
The most important thing we find out is that Bruce, now Hulk-ed out into “Smart Hulk” has made some discoveries. He just up and says Jen has magic blood. He shows he’s been insta-healed by it.
She’s got some kind of kind of high midoclorian count or something. This is another thing that felt appropriated from Star Wars. Could it be because some of the names of the culprits who made this garbage have credits on Kenobi? Victoria Alonso, for example, was prominently in both shows creator and producer credits.
Anyway, turns out the Banner family has some special DNA that makes them able to process the Gamma Radiation… and she has much more than him. The implication is she’s going to be better at being the Hulk than him. The training sequence sort of bears this out.
When they fight we find out they’re about even. So She-Hulk is simply ready to go.
We find out really fast that she’s got enough special Banner DNA to change back and forth at will and still retain her consciousness as Jen even when she’s She-Hulk. This is something Bruce tells us took him 15 years. This was all very Rey Skywalker. Disney is using the same kinds of short cuts telling every story they have these days.
Then to advance some of kind of cause Jen just puts Bruce in his place. He nods in agreement when she seeths that she is much better at controlling anger. She then puts catcalling, snide remarks and murder in the same category in her of daily risks. She checks out mentally mentally to any more information.
We could look at this as one cause attacking another. Is catcalling something to equate to the non neurotypical Bruce Banner? A man who was even more depressed when he found out the hard way he couldn’t even end his own life? He’s in about four recognized minority classes in the United States.
Bruce Banner out-minorities Jen. He has mental illness, PTSD on top of it, is a suicide survivor and he’s lost more than a few friends. He Un-Snapped people back into Reality to undo Thanos spell at great personal risk despite all of this. Maybe cut this guy some slack.
Jens perception of what her cousin has been through is questionable to say the least. The Hulk is a Hero in this world. He’s also been through a Hell of a lot more than someone who sometimes is mocked at work and will be seen as emotional if they freak out. This is also a problem men have, so they kind of destroy Hulk for nothing.
After Jen refuses help she splits Bruce’s Mexican hideaway to return to her job as a prosecutor. Seems like she’s in LA because the degrees on her wall are from “California University.”
We end about where we began and Jen tells us it’s time to get on with what will be ‘a funny lawyer show.’
We cut to a court room and for about 35 seconds they play it seriously. Then an unexplained female supervillain busts through the wall Kool-Aid Guy Style and Jen has to turn into She Hulk publicly. This time they do show some action.
She fights and wins the worst edited fight ever. It’s really awkward and fast. With that she steps back into her kind of ugly shoes and that ends the episode.
Along the way they dunk pretty hard on Iron Man and Cap. The dialogue is never all that good. Some people said the conversations sounded like twitter fights. The one line description is “Angry Super-Powered Female Protagonist Takes No Advice and Gives No Fucks.” Ok, it’s a compound sentence but that’s a fair summation of what we know at the end of episode 1.
This episode was trying to be self aware and blew it. Casting is confusing, the world they live in is not reflective of ours in anything but an aesthetic way.
The scene that was maybe most painful was them drinking after they say alcohol doesn’t affect them. This would be a major crisis for about half of the people I know. They celebrate this by drinking and seem slightly affected anyway. Then we find out Jen still gets hangovers. Why she doesn’t turn into She-Hulk again for just five minutes to eliminate this hangover is beyond me.
As far as CGI, its about the same as the last trailer we saw. I guess it could’ve been worse. Right now I’m still pondering the conclusion of the episode. The Unacknowledged Body Count for this episode is between two and four.
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