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Ted Nugent- Dedicated Servant of Darkness-

12 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by therealmcteag in #toc, ar-15, Assault Weapons Ban, Dedicated Servants of Darkness, Did Wayne LaPierre Serve in Military?, Domestic Terrorists, Dystopia, Famous Murderers, Famous Spree Killings, Gabby Giffords shooting, Glenn Beck, GOP FAILS, GOP sucks, guns in america, Notable Draft Dodgers, Political Satire, Ted Nugent State of the Union

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Ted Nugent proving he's no coward by volunteering to fight on the losing side of a war that ended 150 years ago

Ted Nugent proving he’s no coward by volunteering to fight on the losing side of a war that ended 150 years ago

Some people would find an intellectually challenged admitted serial pedophiliac, mediocre guitar player, subpar singer and a poorly spoken man paid to speak his mind as a terrible ambassador for your ideas. The Teahadists of the GOP right would NOT be among those people. He proudly will attend the State of the Union to counter what he calls “Props”, the survivors of gun violence.

If the intellectually challenged Nugent had his way he would have the now abandoned Sandy Hook Elementary school would be reopened as a Range where only extended clips would be allowed. Actually, that’s far too creative and sensational for Nugent, who is a bore, so thankfully that will never happen…. at least not because of Nugent. His Lord and Master Wayne LaPierre might have the savvy to jump onto that bandwagon, but Nugent is not a creative type, which is why he failed in Rock N Roll.
How bad is Ted Nugent on guitar? Cat Scratch Fever was judged to be so simplistic and annoying by my guitar teacher that he decided the first song I would learn would be “Breakin’ The Law” by Judas Priest, a much more interesting song and gets points for brevity. Brevity and being entertaining is something Nugent, an entertainer by trade, is horrible at. Think of it like this-in the 3 minutes or so that is the lifespan of a song Nugent manages to get across zero emotion, no narrative, and on his best efforts you can’t get through 90 seconds. This is when the guitar solo usually kicks most songs

Nugent is known to brag of his exploits as a pedophile

Nugent is known to brag of his exploits as a pedophile

into high gear. In the case of Nugent the ‘solo’ is a sophomoric mess of unrelated notes that are occasionally in key. To most people the beginning of the guitar solo is the final insult when listening to Ted Nugent, so most people have no idea how any of his songs end.
Ted Nugent is a Dedicated Servant of Darkness. Tonight he will sit in the audience as President Obama delivers his State of the Union Address. Will he make good on his threat that if Obama were reelected he would be dead or in jail within the next 59 days? The chances of that are about as good as the odds he will dress appropriately.
Ted will inevitably be there in the camouflage he wears to hunt, which is not unlike the camouflage he refused to wear to

This is about the most entertaining thing that Ted has done, act like an idiot

This is about the most entertaining thing that Ted has done, act like an idiot

defend his country in Vietnam. Draft Dodger Ted Nugent, who was so afraid to go to serve in the Vietnam War he shit himself for weeks just thinking about it,  loves to talk tough and make grandiose threats of violence, but when the time came to serve his country overseas in time of war “Terrible Ted” chose to eschew all personal hygiene for weeks and pretended to be crazy (he was still relatively sane then) so he would NOT have to put on the uniform of the country he hates, the United States of America. While many refused to serve in the Vietnam War for moral reasons, they had the courage to face the consequences. Accountability is not a trait possessed by Nugent, a craven coward.
Sure, Ted will scream all day that he loves America, but he loves it the way a possessive abusive guy loves his girlfriend; within strict limits and only on his terms. It doesn’t matter what the other party wants, or in this case 330 million other people think, they are all just letting Ted down; just like he let down the record companies who foolishly signed him with pathetic album sales.
But, more than anything aside a glass of freshly tapped unbaptized baby blood, Ted Nugent loves himself. He will say anything, do anything and lie about anything he needs to in his endless self promotion. What does Ted Nugent believe? Well, how much is in it for him? If he could make more money as a democrat he would be one. Sadly, democrats, who are obsessed with Hollywood and celebrity find Nugent distinctly boring. So boring he can’t even get a decent reality show deal. This is probably because insanity, selfishness and gun craziness are demographics that are already well served by far more interesting and less offensively boring people.
Nugent, who keeps his Bushmaster within easy reach at all times in case someone tries to harm him, is actually quite safe due to his being inconsequential. A failed Rock Star with below average guitar skills he has less talent than Britney Speers, who can at least say the horrible songs she released were written by someone else. Despite this Nugent thinks he’s Angus Young. Take it from another guitar player. Ted Nugent is as close to Angus Young as Australia is to the Sea of Tranquility.
A lesser Limbaugh who lacks the charm and charisma of a Glen Beck or the gravitas of Alex Jones, Nugent is the rarest of all things, a boring insane person.
Far too stupid to align himself with something as interesting as Satanism, he serves the God Mammon, which of course is money incarnated as a False God. This is nowhere near as cool as George HW Bush painting his plane like a giant Satanic Bat to scare the Japanese. That’s right, there’s someone even more boring than George HW Bush.

He also is different from George HW Bush in another important way; George HW Bush had a sense of honor. When it was time for war, Bush bought it and fought for a country he loved (in his perverse way), the U.S of Fucking A. He may have been better at getting shot down than completing his missions, but he gleefully joined the Navy and got to kill actual people directly with his own hands. George HW Bush also had a flaw that Nugent would find repulsive, that despite being a below average president, he actually had the pride, good sense sense and was upright enough to call Nugent’s Lord and Master Wayne LaPierre the jerk that he is and quit the National Ted-Nugent2-668x501Rifle Association. Equally repulsive to Nugent would be that George HW Bush actually loves America and eagerly put on his countries uniform. He never saluted any piss yellow snake flag in his life. In fact he made burning Old Glory a crime. Rest assured that the quiet feeling of pride we all have when we see the American Flag snapping in a brisk October wind at Yankee Stadium is something Nugent has never felt.
He’s sort of a reverse Shaquille O’Neal. Shaq leaves the house and its news; Shaq endorses a car, you’ll probably consider its

for the sake of fairness - Not everyone named Ted is a boring dick

for the sake of fairness – Not everyone named Ted is a boring dick

merits. Even in music Shaq has outsold Nugent with the infamously bad “Shaq Diesel” phase where he rapped. Whereas The Big Aristotle is always amusing, engaging and funny, Nugent is always predictable, poorly spoken, uninteresting and clears the room anytime he gets near a microphone, or worse yet, a guitar.
While certainly droolingly insane, he fails to generate any real interest from terrestrial radio in secondary markets. While he bragged openly about having sex with underage girls, of which Courtney Love admits she was one, when she was 12, Nugent can’t use booze or drugs as an excuse. This is because he is far too boring to ever envision things beyond the edge of his dick. A dick we can safely assume is pretty damn small, although Courtney Love’s mouth is so big you could lose an aircraft carrier in it and therefore not use it for a comparison, his overt insecurity gives us a pretty good indication he’s overcompensating for something. Since he has repeatedly touted his skill on guitar we can rule this out. He’s just too dumb to realize he’s terrible at it. That leaves us with his ….his personality…such as it is.
Nugent is a Draft Dodger, a kook, a liar, a self admitted pedophile and about to fail again as he will surely prove he has neither the guts not the integrity to rid the world of himself by getting killed or locked up. Or maybe he will. One way or another we wouldn’t know for weeks if at all. He simply

From the brochure for Ted Nugent's Summer Camp for Kids, apparently the 2nd Mile foundation turned him down because he was too much of a pedophile

From the brochure for Ted Nugent’s Summer Camp for Kids, apparently the 2nd Mile foundation turned him down because he was too much of a pedophile

isn’t that interesting and has too few fans for anyone to care. A dying career in the dying medium of terrestrial radio he’s goon and a ghoul. I would hope that Ted Nugent stays in his deer stand for the State of the Union.
By virtue of his selfishness, inarticulate nature, inept guitar skills and unapologetic love of sex with underage children I hereby confer upon Ted Nugent the title of Dedicated Servant of Darkness, joining Wayne LaPierre in my Hall of Ignominy. He is just the second person to earn this title in the entire (5 month) lifespan of this blog.

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Chris Matthews- Sacrificed to the Volcano God

28 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by therealmcteag in #toc, 2012 presidential Debate, 21st Century Political Movements, 2nd Amendment, 4:20, ar-15, Assault Weapons Ban, Assholes From Long Island, Bill O'Riley booed, Crossroads GPS, Glenn Beck, GOP FAILS, GOP sucks, Hardball with Chris Matthews, International Politics, notable liberals, Rachel Maddow Show

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CHRIS MATTHEWS- Walking Embodiment of All Liberal Stereotypes

I hereby disavow Chris Matthews as a legitimate media voice and feed him to the Volcano God. While this is sure to please everyone on the right, I have lefty reasoning’s for doing this. Before anything else I will say this; he’s no great credit to the Irish, of which I am one. Not a disgrace mind you, but really not a big deal. Now, on to the Butcher’s work!

Matthews gets to be the very first person to be fed to the Volcano God, who I

Chris Matthews in a rare calm moment

Chris Matthews in a rare calm moment

invented earlier today as a useful metaphor. It also sounds more fun than just calling someone boring!

Matthews has done nothing to deserve being first to be thrown into the bubbling caldera of magma, but the Volcano is hungry and I have to start somewhere. He merely survived the media Tsunami of Common Sense that has slowly consumed all the most extreme voices on the right as well as some on the left since the Tea Party reached its apex in 2010.

The Volcano, a particularly useful metaphor,  is our ‘National Conversation’. Its on an Island somewhere in the Basic Cable Sea and it is peopled by would be opinion makers. It demands from time to time to be fed pundits and other politi-porn TV types who are allegedly tasked with facilitating the National Conversation on some pertinent topic.Among the tribes on the Island are the tribe of the Political  Panel Show.

The tried and true Political Panel Show is supposed to involve an enlightened discussion by experts on a pertinent issue. To that end Chris Matthews squanders great power by focusing his show on an unlikely hero, himself. This is even more incredible if you watch the show regularly because Matthews seems to hold himself in complete contempt. He’s got a lot of apologizing to do before he circumlocuates his way to the vicinity of the topic at hand, whatever that may be. It doesn’t matter; it’s not going to be addressed until the final 15 seconds of the segment because Matthews is on a nonstop rant. He’s something of a walking contradiction. Consider this as proof; he refers to the mass of hypomanic unrestrained genius meets rock star that was John Fitzergerald Kennedy as “elusive”. This is like calling a brick wall ‘subtle’.

In the name of Moderation, Understanding and Advancing the Collective Civic Conversation I hereby sacrifice Christopher John “Chris” Matthews to Volcano the Volcano God!!!!

Altar of the Volcano God

Altar of the Volcano God

I have long been a non fan of Hardball with Chris Matthews. It’s an Orwellian mix of poorly troped recycled Kennedy Era liberalism on Stupid Pills. At the helm of this shambling mess of banal assertions shouted over the smartest people in the world’s opinions is none other than the Eponymous Hardballer himself- Chris Matthews.

Matthews is a distinguished journalist with an audience of hundreds of thousands, and he will overstate this every chance he gets. It’s not that he’s unlikeable, I want to like him, and I just have gotten to know him too well.

I know that Howard Fineman is a genius, and having him as panel member is a great ‘get’. Talking over him in what basically amounts to putting your own spin on restating the obvious would seem an easily avoidable mistake.

Sporting a big name, big mouth, big ego and a personality that reminds me of the things I both loved and hated about the Marist Brothers who ran my school, Matthews cajoles the distinguished geniuses he gets on his show with nonstop self obsessed faux humility. One third of all people on MSNBC owe their careers to the fact that they started a few really interesting sentences on Hardball which Matthews then co-opted. This always leaves you appreciating the panelists more. What could Peggy Noonan have said if she were not over talked as Matthews’ waxed poetic about Jack Kennedy? When you take it a step firther and realize she was talking about Mitt Romney, the least Kennedy-like person not named Bush to ever walk the4,000 year old Republican version of Earth.

Everything in Chris Matthews World View revolves around his fascination with the Kennedy’s, who must think he’s at least as creepy as Taylor Swift.  He threads the “JFK Needle” upon every opportunity. You wouldn’t think Bill Press had meant to devolve into a post mortem of the Cuban Missile Crisis when Chris asked him about the Taliban, but that’s what you’ll get!

Chris Matthews is the definition of guilty. Of all the things he is guilty of, the worst thing perhaps is Guilt itself. He feels bad about everything. He’s an apologist for his relative wealth, his entire race, all peoples of Irish descent, the Church , the entirety of all mistakes in Western Civilization and occasionally, for over talking his guests. The last apology is accepted.

It goes beyond the obvious and seems pathological.  He is chronically sorry about everything that has gone wrong with America. It’s not so much I think he’s wrong. Sometimes he’s not. My problem is that there is a point of a panel show and it’s not to find out everything about the host in every episode.  The best episodes of Hardball are the ones guest hosted by Michael Smerconish.  Smerconish has also guest hosted for OReilly, another idiot who perpetuates a whole bunch of other Irish Stereotypes that make me cringe like a Lucky Charms Commercial

Someone should either fire Matthews, or spike his red bull with valium

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NRA Chairman Wayne LaPierre- Dedicated Servant of Darkness.

22 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by therealmcteag in #toc, 2012 Election Violence, 21st Century Political Movements, 2nd Amendment, Adam Lanza, ar-15, Assault Weapons Ban, Bill O'Riley booed, Colin Ferguson, Crime, Crossroads GPS, Dead pool candidates, Dedicated Servants of Darkness, Did Wayne LaPierre go to Vietnam, Did Wayne LaPierre Serve in Military?, Domestic violence, Double Homicide, Dystopia, Famous Murderers, Famous Satanists, Fox News Lies, Gabby Giffords shooting, Glenn Beck, GOP FAILS, GOP sucks, gun crime, handgun crime, handgun debate, Handgun laws, Hate Crimes, Historical Commentary, i met a spree killer, Joe Biden, Kony, Mass Culture phenomena, Mass Murderers, mass murders, Mayor Bloomberg gun policy, Mental Health, michael Bloomberg, Modern Conservatives, multiple victim homicides, Need for More Well trained Cops, New Assault Weapons Ban, Newtown Shootings, Notable draft Dogers, Notable Satanists, NRA RESPONDS TO OBAMA, Obama at Newton Ct, Uncategorized, Wayne LaPierre Draft, Wayne LaPierre Draft Dodger, Wayne LaPierre taken to task, Wayne LaPierre testifies before Congress, Wayne LaPierre Vietnam

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Executive Vice President of the NRA LaPierre holds a 300 Remington Ultra Mag that was auctioned off after he gave the keynote address at the Western Hunting and Conservation Expo in Salt Lake City, Utah

Massacre enabler Wayne LaPierre is on television spreading the darkness and poison of the National Rifle Association way too often. He is possessed of an acute single-mindedness of purpose; making a case against any and all gun regulations.

He is routinely and justifiably taken to task  for his assertions that our government is an overly powerful, threatening , repressive and evil entity which the average citizen needs military level of personal firepower to be protected from.  He also despises professional Law Enforcement from the FBI to the cop on the street.

{When this originally went live LaPierre was still more laughable than frightening. Since then we’ve experienced every minute of the Trump Campaign (now presidency) and things aren’t so funny anymore.}

Wayne LaPierre’s macabre yet hilarious public appearances would be more frightening were he a better speaker or didn’t increasingly appear like just another crazy old country club republican. None the less he’s too insidious not to be taken seriously. The tone of his rhetoric is always angry and dark.  It’s difficult to come up with anyone outside the old Third Reich guys to compare him too. Gaslighting, moving the goal posts, the ridicule of law enforcement and a generous helping of borderline treason are his tools.

Aside from hating the government LaPierre likes to use plenty of Nazi-style “Them-ism” in every guise he can. Immigrants, muslims, democrats, artists, comedians, actors and more are called out as different and scapegoated in turn. Hypocrisy is big too. For instance despite being the holder of several degrees, LaPierre scoffs at educated people. Its pretty shameless.

Throw in the comic resemblance to the Gestapo officer who stalks Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark and the whole thing is just plain old creepy. In fact it’s pretty easy to think of movie villains who remind you of LaPierre and they all have one thing in alg-resize-red-skull-hugo-weaving-jpgcommon. They’re all violent Nazis. For instance; Hugo Weaving sort of captures a younger LaPierre in Captain America The First Avenger.

LaPierre is the CEO of the NRA and he has stuck with what he knows. Since his first days in the organization hes been spewing the same crazed non-logic. They have become more brazen of late though and added a new face, a former CNN and Fox News pundit; Loathsome Dana Loesch.

Image

from ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’

Presented in the Main Stream Media as a goon and a ghoul, LaPierre makes something like 8 million dollars a year as an Anti-Government firebrand and enabler of spree killings. He knows it’s a Golden Fucking Thing so he doesn’t hold back on the reckless, crazy talk his members love.

Many of his lies revolve around the fact no one is perfect and it’s an imperfect world. Hard to argue that part. Then he ‘cleverly’ alternates between out of context pieces of common sense and complete idiocy.

Basically his argument on any kind of Gun Control can be summed up as thus ‘There’s no one complete solution to stop everything, so why try anything?’ It’s applied to everything and then repeated over and over.

He’s could easily be called a coward who wouldn’t serve his country in time of war. It’s important to remember that when given a chance to serve his country with

Even New Yorkers, used to every form of offensive behavior, are shocked and sickened by LaPierre

The Daily News after the NRA reaction to Sandy Hook Massacre

a gun he refused and avoided the draft.

That’s right – Wayne LaPierre has never served in the Armed Forces in any capacity and he is often criticized as a Draft Dodger. 

In actuality he’s probably better described as a ‘Draft Evader”. If he were anyone else it would be no big deal, But he’s Wayne LaPierre and wants everyone to walk around with military weapons.

Remember this is a guy who has repeatedly said the only world that’s worth working to achieve is one where EVERYONE is ARMED. But he’s considered a Draft Dodger by many for his continual deferments to stay in school. Maybe THAT’S why he’s not overly proud of his advanced education?

Think about the hypocrisy.  His National Rifle Association clearly and loudly says ‘the more guns the better’. By NRA logic with everyone packing the safest country in the world until the early 1970’s could ONLY have been Vietnam! It’s almost an ideal place by NRA standards.

It’s actually very hard to imagine LaPierre serving his country after you’ve heard him speak.  Visualize a young LaPierre smugly sipping his Mr Pibb, bible in hand, indifferently watching the war from home via the news.

I’m sure Veteran’s who have seen LaPierre’s act are glad he’s not one of them (at least the AMERICAN ones, the former Vietcong would probably love him). In fact if LaPierre WERE a combat veteran and talked about violence and the government the way he does he would labelled and dismissed as a PTSD victim. 

How big a deal is not serving? It was pretty big for that generation. Let’s remember – Bill Clinton was scoffed at for the same thing. The criticism was so harsh he mostly eschewed military style salutes during his presidency (Bill  saluted civilian style, with right hand over heart). For context- Bill Clinton’s Republican critics thought it was huge. None the less their GOP successors forgive it of LaPierre. Could it be because the NRA ran 19 million dollars of Anti-Hillary ads and 11 million dollars in Pro Trump Ads in the 2016 Election?

Another accomplishment of LaPierre’s was to write an anti-Government screed so extreme it involved calling FBI Agents “Jackbooted Thugs” for their reaction to the family of armed white nationalists in the Ruby Ridge Incident.  Then President George H Bush was so offended he quit the NRA in disgust saying “Who the Hell Wayne LaPierre anyway?” And George H Bush was a Republican! How times have changed.

So, rounding out getting to know the leader of the NRA here’s some facts about LaPierre as well as some of his most common tactics when pushing his agenda in a handy bullet pointed list –

  •  Up until about 2015 most of his speeches are at lavish fundraiser dinners where the audio includes lots of ‘rich guys eating lobster’ with lots of ambient noise of cutlery and crockery. This is a fitting soundtrack as LaPierre is a true carnivore.
  • He always has Time Sensitive Hate Rants that directly address the latest headlines and spins them as arguments to expand the Second Amendment.  In fact LaPierre always mocks the victims of the most recent gun massacres. Usually he does this  by portraying them as unrealistic gadflies who shared some blame in their own deaths ( by NOT being armed at all times).
  •  He usually takes time to unwittingly underscore his actual irrelevance by pointing out he isn’t saying anything new or original (which is sort of like saying the same thing three different ways in a row).
  • His habit of going silent and waiting about 3 days to mock victims and survivors of the most recent mass shootings now seems quaint and polite. (Immediate mocking of victims now comes from Dana Loesch)
  • Has same ideas of who is old enough and smart enough to carry a machine gun as Hitler in the Battle of Berlin.
  • Blames the same videogames available everywhere for the uniquely American problem of Frequent Mass Shootings
  •  Likens everyone to a criminal and thinks we should all behave like societies lowest common denominator by imitating their behavior (i.e.  own and carry many guns)
  •  LaPierre is creepily inappropriate most of the time. For instance, he easily laughs and cracks jokes while discussing the most horrible and frightening crimes ever committed. It’s unsettling to anyone who doesn’t wish they lived next door to LaPierre.
  • frequently bristles at the words ‘reasonable’, ‘compromise’ and ‘logical’. He will attack anyone using these terms or related lines of reasoning.
  • Continually scoffs at the spirit of things like the Declaration of Independence and every other Government doctrine or law except the Second Amendment.
  • Seemingly LaPierre views the entire history of America simply as a series of justifications for the second Amendment
  •  Accuses minorities of using ugly slurs against him when they say he is an absolutist, a racist and crazy.  In fact these are actually dead on observations of LaPierre’s core traits. He routinely plainly declares he is an absolutist and claims its as a virtue.
  • Often paints non violence as a flawwayne-lapierre-cpac-good-guy-with-a-gun
  • Regularly expresses great anger at the idea people have principles other than Open Carry
  • In a fit of Gaslighting he always calls machine guns ‘100 year old technology’ as though machine guns weren’t the first weapon of mass destruction and debuted in World War 1. He implies they can’t still be lethal and also calls machine guns ‘cherished family heirlooms’. By this logic the North Koreans Nuclear Arsenal is just a bunch of  70 year old ‘Legacy Technology’.
  • Loves to make puzzling simplifications to insist all guns are the same. So automatics, machine guns, revolvers and starters pistols all the same to him. Its stunning this lie works so well.
  • He makes a conflated point by saying most guns are legally purchased. He leaves out that this is because the NRA has worked hard to make sure that there are no laws to regulate the sale of guns. He also doesn’t metion that most killers are legal gun owners til the moment the first bullet strikes flesh (because a miss can sometimes be a Legally allowable “warning shot’)
  • He constantly expresses hatred  of an appeal for “Collective Action”, scoffing at the concept of Collective Action in and of itself.  Then he asks his supporters to collectively march on the FBI or Congress. It’s THAT hypocritical

UPDATE- In the wake of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings there has been a steadily rising and occasionally surging tide in favor of reforming the nation’s gun law policies. This is due in no small part to the repulsive nature of the counter arguments presented by Wayne LaPierre.

In 2018 Wikipedia listed LaPierre’s annual salary at just over 5 million dollars annually.

In a classy and appropriate gesture, Major League Baseball’s Opening Day Ceremonies for all teams included a Moment of Silence for the victims of Sandy Hook. Even at the Rangers – Astro’s Game in Houston, which would easily qualify as a hotbed of gun rights advocacy, not one of the fifty thousand or so in attendance made so much a peep during the observance.

The NRA’s reaction, if any, to Major League Baseball honoring the victims, will likely only drive more people from their ranks.

For theRealMcTeag post on Dana Loesch click here

For the post on Ted Nugent Click here

UPDATED 04/02/13

UPDATED 04/02/13

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