UPDATED

Viewers of the CNN Town Hall for the Stoneman-Douglas High School Shooting Survivors and their families were introduced to Satan’s Personal Life Coach, Dana Loesch of the NRA.

With all the charm of an angry unqualified Substitute Teacher she alternately patronized, chided or even sort of scolded the students and upbraided the hosts while getting gigged for lying, making things up and not doing research. She blamed all her mistakes on Media inaccuracies. I guess the fact she has deep ties to the Main Stream Media would shock some. Later she claimed she wouldn’t have made it out alive without security. I don’t know what she expected considering how she was so obviously trying to manufacture just that. She recounted her version of it to buttress her case against the survivors the next day. Talk about phony and insincere!

While Wayne LaPierre is NRA CEO and the primary spokesperson he can only rant so much while he’s basically running the organization for Putin. Newcomer Loesch, first seen in a chilling NRA web ad in April 2017, is the “Kinder, Gentler” NRA spokesperson who is supposed to appeal to moms and guys who notice her looks.

We know all about Wayne LaPierre and his issues from keeping up with the posts here at TheRealMcteag, so let’s get to know not so charming Loesch as quickly as we can, because hey, she’s pretty awful.

Raised by her single mom Gale, she’s from  Missouri. Her home town, Arnold, was founded by a guy with a land grant from, of all people, the King of Spain!  Growing up I imagine her favorite Looney Toon would have been Yosemite Sam, but Foghorn Leghorn is probably in the running too.

Dana was born September 28, 1979, a birthday she shares with SICK skateboarder Bam Margera   as well as it being the anniversary of Pompei the Great losing his life to an angry sword owner (to which she’s likely add- ‘due to the absence of a good guy with a sword.’). Her original last name was Eaton.

Like we said, Dana is from the ‘bustling metropolis’ of Arnold, biggest town in the county.  It’s boasted a steady population of just about twenty thousand as far back as 1980 (when I stopped looking, so probably forever) .

Arnold boasts a ‘diverse’ population that’s a whopping  96.3 % white. Just think about it! Why, they’re sure to have all sorts of white people from places as exotic as Ireland and even Germany! I bet they even have an Australian or two.  How white’s this town? For comparison it’s just 0.06% African American; so you could easily say Dana lived a sheltered life in a tiny town where most everyone was the same.

Honestly, it’s a tossup if young Dana so much as saw a non white person of any kind before she ventured to St Louis after getting her driver’s license. We’re talking Nowheres-ville, people! How insignificant is Arnold? Well, its between Dana and NASCAR driver Rusty Wallace for most well-known person from there (same matchup for most famous High School Grad of local Fox High).

Her education consists of graduating Fox High School.

Dana rounded out her ‘education’ by dropping out of not one, but two colleges, which is sort of baffling because for a hot moment she had a journalism scholarship. It’s not too easy finding dates for this. I’m guessing she scrubbed her wiki of them because at almost 40 she wont automatically be getting listened to by every right wing old man much longer. I’m not gonna lie, for a pretty long time she was pretty good looking and I guess would have been one of the best looking woman out of the roughly 300 date-able (or in her case later, MILF-y) women in Arnold. If you like your women with crazy eyes and a cruel mocking smile she’s a real catch! This is the part of the story where she bumps against not bein’ too smart for the first time. Her soon to be husband Chris gets to take the fall when she drops out of school.

Married at home was infinitely preferable to things like fancy book learnin’ and great for selective reading of the Bill of Rights!  Armed only with good looks and the emerging insanity of the Right, Loesch stepped in shit with an early blog site she called “Mamalogues”.  Straight out of the Cult of Domesticity!

She’s sometimes described as the most successful “Mom Blogger”.  I guess “Tiger-Mom” was the other big one from that pre-Pinterest moment?  It’s funny because she might be the last person you’d let watch you kids or ever want to listen to!  Non bruising punishments like hot sauce on the tongue are likely her methods and FORGET her gender views with the way she always finds a way to talk about rape! (and I feel sorry for her 2 sons). I guess it was different and less outright bitingly cruel from her bullshit these days, because somehow it got her enough attention to get her articles published by the St Louis Post-Dispatch. By 2007 she was getting noticed and Mamalogues won some awards.

By 2009 she was hosting nationally syndicated radio show “The Dana Show, A Conservative Alternative.” That same year she gets in on the Tea Party craze, co-founding a St Louis chapter of the Far Right confederation.  Honing her skills, at this point shes chattering all day on TV and radio, you gotta figure it’s when she starts relating all violence to MS 13 and using Straw Man Arguments about Chicago.

Also at this point the doors opened to the Fox News shows and other right wing media appearances. Rest assured she has been on pretty much every Fox News show but is probably the best fit for Morning TV in her NRA role. You figure they sent LaPierre to deal with gropers like Bill O’Reilly, but I’m guessing.

By the time 2010 rolls around she’s an institution on Fox and CNN as a right wing contributor. The awards from Right Wing Groups really start piling up at this time too.

At this moment she could have strategically jettisoned her most awful views and moved closer to the middle and maybe have scared up her own show. It was there for a second, but she didn’t change so it vanished.  Regardless, as 2010 and 2011 roll by she’s got the world at her feet….briefly.

In 2012 she makes her biggest journalistic ‘splash’ defending US Marines who had urinated on dead Taliban. That was fucked up but I forgive the Marines, they were just kids and had just been in battle. Loesch, on the other hand, starts to make a move towards greater notoriety by exploiting the youthful mistakes of others and catering to Islamaphobia. It didn’t go unnoticed. In fact all the wrong people love it and all the right people are a bit alarmed so far as furthering a TV pundit career goes.

And thats when she encountered the physical limits of the role she’s chosen. She was young and attractive and completely Right Wing. She was a far cry from her original guise of “Mom Blogger” Maybe she didn’t realize it, but she’d trended too far to the right.

Of course these views had led her to Breitbart, where she asserts she was never paid and essentially spewed hate for free. (Another example of just not being that smart). Who knows if its true? Breitbart himself is dead before she takes any action on this. Shes in a documentary called “Hating Breitbart” about it. Whatever.

As late as 2015 she’s still with CNN and contributing to coverage of  the Oregon Shooting .  (This might explain why she still was given some quarter by Jake Tapper as he asked the town hall participants, who were just scorched by her callous words, to show her the respect she doesn’t have for anyone else.)

Then money making opportunities suddenly got pretty scarce for the female Ted Nugent that is Loesch.  In fact the original radio station in St Louis where her show began dropped her in 2016 even though at that point Conservative craziness was really IN! The Trump Campaign was around the whole year waging a cynical, gun loving and racist campaign. Possibly that sucked the air out of the right wing hater talk circuit to feed its own insatiable fire of Destruction and Intolerance. One way or another her show goes kaput. I’m guessing  this is when she loses her benefits and stops taking the psych meds she so desperately needs. I dont know what it does to your pundit’s paycheck when you take a backwards step like that. It must have been a scary time.

As we said, she wasn’t always smart enough to actually get paid when she was spewing hate.  For a minute there it looked like she would maybe have to even get a real job! This explains well why she starts living in Dallas in Bankruptcy Friendly, creditor hating, asset protecting Texas. There she probably thought the game was up as she’d accumulated too much of a stink to be more than an occassional Fox News Pundit. I think the desperation still shows in her performances. She KNOWS it’s a Golden Fucking Thing to get paid for this nonsense whether she believes in it or not.  There’s nothing I could find regarding her current NRA compensation, Wayne LaPierre for comparison routinely pulls down 5 million bucks a year. Whatever they’re paying her she’s tooling hard for them.  But it’s also a shifty way to make money. Actually, after her horrible mouth, a perceptible  desperation and being shifty with cash seem to be the things you come across the most when you research Dana Loesch.

Fortunately for Loesch her rhetoric had been so extreme and her looks were still fresh enough that the NRA decided to solve all her problems by giving her a job being extreme and intolerant.  Her debut was the aforementioned April, 2017 completely unhinged NRA Ad (embedded below) It featured her delivering such upbeat dialogue as-

“… They use their movie stars and singers and comedy shows and award shows to repeat their narrative over and over again. And then they use their ex-president to endorse the resistance…. To smash windows, burn cars, shut down interstates and airports, bully and terrorize the law-abiding – until the only option left is for the police to do their jobs and stop the madness…. The only way we stop this, the only way we save our country and our freedom, is to fight this violence of lies with the clenched fist of truth….”

So as you see she’s no shrinking violet in this game. She speaks coldly, arrogantly and disturbingly.  Loesch is brimming over with faux Righteous Indignation toward anyone not currently packing heat. Unabashedly pro Trump (hey they DID give him 30 MILLION Dollars in helpful ads in 2016) and dripping with disdain it really is quite chilling.

Ones left to wonder WHY Loesch thinks the Police would wait til they had “no other option”  to “do their jobs” or why they are apparently so unfit to stop crime. Are Decent Cops not worth the money? It doesn’t matter. Vigilantism is her thing. Like a Jim Crow Lynch Mob would be her preferred form of Justice I guess.

Brittle and angry in her public appearances you would think there was nowhere to go but Up for the actual scripted public speeches. No such luck.

Her entire delivery is desperately aggressive and downright ‘Hitler Raving in The Bunker’ in its  tone. For one thing she wont stand still and simply talk. Shes more a performance artist. Loesch has an unsettling habit of circling the podium with a capricious look on her face jabbing the air with an accusatory finger. Her head is often low to the lectern as she hisses hatefully.  This is sooo creepy you probably need to see it for yourself.

In her most recent hateful rant public appearance, at CPAC of course and the day after the CNN Town Hall no less, she made hay out of her recent experiences.  She mockingly called out the media after making sure to focus the attention of the largely gun owning crowd on them and then pointing, physically and dramatically at them as she called them the worst deathmongers of all. Unveiling her rhetorical flourish about “Legacy Media”, the lines, sounding like they were ripped right out of Mein Kampf, were –

“Many in legacy media love mass shootings,” she then drank in the harsh laughter, applause and catcalls at the media before dropping this beauty, “… you love the ratings. Crying white mothers are ratings gold.” and then a Hitlerian pause to allow the  fuhrer furor to die down. Later she again ridiculed the Police.  I suppose she simply can’t stand trained law enforcement and their tiny pistols with just 16 bullets and measly one gun per cop? I don’t know but my dad was a cop, I find it offensive!

The performances are so over the top and disingenuous that, if you’re not a total nut, it reeks a bit of desperation (there’s that word again). The circling, the hands on the hips striking poses and sweeping arm gestures are obvious and maudlin, especially when minimizing murder and decrying the government.

Gaslighting, moving the goalposts and lots of recycled Nazi “Them-ism” in its many forms make up the majority of her maneuvers. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sick and clothed in the guise of True Americanism, whatever that needs to be at the moment.

Everyone can just decide for themselves if waving your arms in the air while shouting falsehoods really makes someone a ‘good speaker’. The other possibility would be she’s a train-wreck in slow motion that no one can look away from.

If you were to read both their speeches it would take quite awhile to figure out which one was hers and which one was LaPierre’s ( or until one of her frequent allusions to her greatest feat – having two children ). Perhaps their biggest stylistic difference is that LaPierre mostly calls out the government and deals with ideas that border on Treason and Terrorism. Loesch loves this stuff too, but she mostly just likes to draw rape analogies while going after Cops and the media. Arming Teachers is actually one of the tamer things in her milieu.

She’s also brazen and reckless.  She kind of threatened the media gaggle covering her CPAC speech and accused them of loving massacres. She added hers to the fascist  voices implying that violence against the media would be okay. That’s just irresponsible. Surely this must have felt scary for the journalists in that room full of conservative concealed carry lunatics.

So far she’s not directly implicated in any violence against reporters or the like, but if she doesn’t change her tune it will certainly occur.

Since Tomi Lahren is nipping at Loesch’s heels for Designated Unqualified Good Looking Right Wing Hater and is 10 or so years younger I don’t think we’ll have to put up with Loesh a whole lot longer.

She’s I guess made two contributions to Mass Culture. For starters she’s possibly the first person to use the term “Legacy Media”. It was coined to try to elevate stuff like Mamalogues to the level of CNN and the New York Times (and drop those outlets to angry twitter streams in her estimation of their importance). We all know that’s just not true.

Her second contribution to Mass Culture is being the face of the NRA immediately after a tragedy. A time when they used to go silent for about three days. This alone means she will be a lightning rod of anger to many for years to come even if she stops now.  I’m just gonna call her one morbid and horrible monster for making money like that right here and now. It’s desperate, shifty and more cunning than smart. But that’s Dana for you.

You can find the current incarnation of the Dana Loesch show on NRATV, which is exactly what it sounds like; a TV-like streaming content app crazy people put on their Roku’s or Firesticks.

If you like threats of treason and violence check out this web ad where she’s just plain fed up with anyone who disagrees with her, especially THE MEDIA!  She sounds as crazy as ever in it as she counts down to an NRA Fueled Armageddon. They SAY its a commercial for her show. I think its proof she lied to Jake Tapper about being 125 pounds. shes closer to 160 (hey SHE bought it up as part of her argument for gun ownership).

Here she is again spewing hate (paid for a change?). Fair Warning- she’s at her most arrogant and defiant, it’s hard to watch.

In late July of 2018 as the Butina-NRA Spy Ring Emerged Dana Loesch showed what she was made of; she took NRA off her Twitter account and acted like she was barely involved with the soon to be highly scrutinized NRA. So throw “Possible Russian Asset” and “Likely Traitor” to her list of stellar accomplishments.

Which brings us to now. You’re all caught up and ready to Resist!

The future? Just guessing here-  She’d be a natural as a Greeter for a Biker-themed diner, wouldn’t she?  Look for her to eventually retire to a double-wide in a very white town in an Open Carry State with favorable Bankruptcy laws. She will probably emerge again unexpectedly with a terrible second act, possibly when she

shoots someone or her kid accidentally shoot themselves or her.  Statistics suggest she’s at high risk for something like that and we already know she’s paranoid, intolerant and packs a gun to buy groceries.

Stay Tuned!

UPDATE – in the wake of the unfolding Maria Butina Scandal just maybe you can add “Traitor Getting Russian Money to Undermine America” to Dana’s loathsome achievements. Witting or Unwitting, this escapee from a Harley-Davidson Themed Diner may be a Russian Asset. Way to go, Dana!

It’s not looking good for the whole NRA crew these days.

For the post on Wayne LaPierre click here 

For the post on Colion Noir click here 

For the post on Ted Nugent Click here