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The Republican Cargo Cult : Explaining the GOP’s “Turn Back the Clock” Obsession.

05 Wednesday Jun 2013

Posted by therealmcteag in 1980's, 21st Century Political Movements, A Piece of the Action, Afghan Massacre, Benghazi Attacks., Cargo Cult, Cargo Cult Republican's, Dystopia, International Politics, John Frumm, Republican Cargo Cult, Republican insanity, revisionist reality, Right wing extremism, The Tea party, War in Afghanistan

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What are Cargo Cult Republicans? Cargo Cult Republicans are those whose behavior and beliefs have devolved into a quasi-religious mindset towards Modern American Conservatism revolving around the 1980’s and Ronald Reagan in an

The Republicans View of Reagan

idealized, ritualized and unrealistic way. The influence of this aspect of modern American Conservatism is palpable yet there has been very little discussion of it.
The classic historical Cargo Cult refers to a quasi-religious phenomenon that arose on the isolated pacific islands used as bases by various militaries during the Second World War. The native islanders in places like Papua, New Guinea had not had much contact with the outside world. Their ways of viewing the day to day world included a good dose of the paranormal. If someone got sick, perhaps a curse had been put upon them. Flood? Famine? Perhaps the villagers aren’t living up to the standards of their pantheon of deities. A thumbnail description would be that they fed the Volcano to pacify the gods,

who were surely a bit crazy.
After the Second World War began in the Pacific the lives of the native islanders were subject to massive culture shock. Literally overnight and literally out of the sky in the form of shiny silver airplanes as well as great iron beasts from the sea came the mid-20th century. None of the previous limited contacts with outsiders provided a frame of reference for what transpired on their islands, their very world, as emerged over the weeks following arrival of troops from both sides of the conflict. To these isolated natives the idea that an internal combustion engine would spin gears and operate pistons to spin a propeller to power a vehicle capable of carrying goods or people was inconceivable. Imagine and bringing a flashlight, cigarette lighter and .9mm pistol via time traveling helicopter to Dark Ages Europe to get any sort of grip on this.
To the natives of islands such as those of New Guinea the planes were not machines but great beasts akin to hollow metal dragons. They were summoned from the sky by rituals at a holy temple, or as we would call it, a Military Airfield. The “rituals” were the day to day operations of the base. Waiving in incoming planes with flags and lighting runways. Groups of identically clad men marching in formation, sometimes firing their bang sticks!!

members of the John Frumm Cargo Cult in New Guinea imitating American soldiers in the hopes of bringing wealth from the sky

In the wake of the Second World War these isolated bases were mostly abandoned and life, for the natives, returned to ‘normal’. But it was a ‘New Normal’. They had become accustomed to the gleaming aluminum dragons regularly summoned by the clergy (read: US Navy Sea Bees) with the sacred relics (read: radios, landing lights and parades). No longer were the great beasts from the air and sea disgorging the cargo they desired. Gone was the supply of canned goods, textiles and the giant crates that had seemed like enormous wooden eggs that birthed the coveted “cargo”.
In a turn of events still being studied by sociologists and historians, the Cargo Cults emerged. The natives formed into cults of sorts and imitated in ritualistic fashion the actions of the men who had summoned the great beats and cargo from the sky. Coconuts were fashioned into radio headsets, bamboo control towers were created. Uniformly dressed men marched in ritual manners similar to

A replica Second World War plane used in John Frum Movements rituals. Is the GOP Elephant now an equivalent Trojan Horse of Willful Blindness?

the military drills they had seen under the mistaken belief that by simply doing so they themselves would please the gods of the sky and bring down the shiny metal beasts filled with goodies. These beliefs were personified in the form of an image of an American World War 2 Sailor, frequently portrayed as African American, known as “John Frum”. Think of him as a sort of Santa-Jesus type. British occupied areas developed similar cults based on an idealized perception of Prince Phillip.
The John Frumm Movement and Prince Phillip Movement still exist today in New Guinea. Despite the fact that these places slowly became less isolated and were slowly but steadily overtaken by rational explanations of the outside world some still cling to the Cargo Cult beliefs. In the case of the Prince Phillip society egotistical detachment from reality is shared by the object of their affection. Prince Phillip perhaps unwittingly endorses the cult’s beliefs by sending gifts and autographs. This leads to the inevitable conclusion that what is really needed, by the prince and his worshipers, is some help handling a brutal but needed dose of reality. This need also applies to early 21st Century Tea party Republicans. Ritualized Reaganistic Worldview has become a meme accepted by most Republicans, albeit for the most part unknowingly.

The Gangster Planet featured in the Original Star Trek Episode “A Piece of the Action” is an illustration of a classic “Cargo Cult”. One of the shows most popular episodes and most Americans only glimpse at Cargo Cults;

The “gangster planet” from the original Star Trek is probably the most familiar depiction of a Cargo Cult to most Americans

where an isolated planet had been exposed to 23rd century technology by earlier space travelers. When the Enterprise arrives a generation later they find an entire culture influenced by a book the first contactor’s left behind about 1920’s gangster culture in places like Chicago and New York. By looking, dressing and acting like the gangsters they read about the natives of Sigma Iota IV were attempting to make a great leap forward by throwing themselves feet first into imitating a society that had been outlined in book that to them seemed a blue print to the “cargo” they had seen accompanying the first earthmen they met, technology and abilities that would provide for worry free prosperity.
How does this apply to early 21st century American Conservatism? The Republican Party is now packed with under qualified ideologues, who espouse an unrealistic image of a worry free past, in this case, the Go Go 1980’s.

The images of John Frum (a bastardization of “John From America”) and Prince Phillip associated with the Cargo Cults of the South Pacific have been replaced by an idealized, unrealistic image of Ronald Reagan. Like John Frumm, Ritual Reagan is a demi god who summoned “Cargo” (read: Worry free prosperity) through rituals that included sparring with the Russians, bellicose military threats and a somewhat narrow social view and an overemphasis on an extreme interpretation of “Christian” thought.
To one degree or another every single modern conservative is a member of a Reagan oriented Cargo Cult. The Cargo Cult mentality has threaded its way into every aspect of current Republican narrative.
The Cargo Cult Volcano God demands certain sacrifices be made lest it grow angry and erupt. Among other things, it demands ritual.
Repeated mawkish Ritualistic displays by Romney during the 2012 Election and other leading Republicans have so far done nothing to dispel the validity of the Cargo Cult Assertion.
A right wing politician politician in the mold of Mitt Romney seizes upon every perceived advantage and this is no exception. It’s not a difficult role in its Ritualistic Form. There’s some passing physical resemblance, both coincidental and contrived between Romney and Reagan. Among these are their hair, approximate build and hypomanic personalities. Romney seems to be smugly emitting what he seemingly thinks is a subliminal puppet show where he plays Ritualized Reagan. Pushing on the physical he layers on a veneer of the cold warrior aspect of Reagan by strapping on the coconut headphones of some sort of bamboo transmitter and sending pugilistic messages to the Russians, who are clearly not a threat to the United States in 2012. Another Ritual Reagan rain dance is over emphasizing the level of danger posed by Iran. While an outlaw nation and a sponsor of terrorism, the current sanctions and global shunning seem to be worth sticking worth for a while to most Americans who are leery of another American Ground War in an unstable part of the world.

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Republican History Class- The Rise of Capitalism Part 1 – Those Crazy Romans

13 Thursday Dec 2012

Posted by therealmcteag in 12-12-12 Concert, 4:20, Ancient History, Ancient Rome, Anti Drug Public Service Announcements, Cursed sports teams, Embarrassing Long Islanders, Geological Effects of Hurricane Sandy, Glenn Beck, Global Warming, GOP sucks, Governor Skeletor, grover norquist, Hamid karzai, historical distortions, hofstra university, International Politics, Iran, Mitt Romney, Mormon politiciasns, new Guinea, Political Satire, Politics, pot legal, Republican Fails, Republican history, Republican History lesson, Republican insanity, Republican Lies, republicans view of rome, Reuters news crew massascre, Rex Ryan is an idiot, Right wing extremism, Ritualized Reagan, Rome Legal System, Rush Limbaugh is a fat asshole, Tea baggers, tea party fail, Tea Party Fanatics, Tea Party Hate Group, Tea Party Liars, The Tea party, The Tea party sucks, Those crazy romans, US Mexico Border

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Republican History Class- The Rise of Capitalism Part 1 – Those Crazy Romans.

Republican History Class- The Rise of Capitalism Part 1 – Those Crazy Romans

13 Thursday Dec 2012

Posted by therealmcteag in 21st Century Political Movements, America vs Rome, Ancient History, Ancient Rome, Dystopia, Effects of Rome on America, Gladiator Movie, GOP FAILS, Historical Commentary, historical distortions, modern conservatism, Political Satire, Politics, Republican Distortions, Republican history, Republican History lesson, republicans view of rome, Romasn Empire vs GOP, Russell Crowe, Those crazy romans

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#lawrence O'Donnell, #TOC, #TRMS, Carthage, Crossroads GPS, fall of roman empire, Freedom works, gladiator movie, GOP sucks, Grover Norquist, Julius Caesar, karl rove, Mock Lesson plan on Rome, Republican delusions, Republican Lies, Republican Revisionist history, Republican Revisonist history, Roman, Roman Empire, Roman Republic, Rome, RTeap Party Ideas, Slavery, TEA PARTY FAIL, Tea PArty Sucks, United States

Republican History Class-
The Rise of Capitalism Part 1 – Those Crazy Romans

The Romans were around a really long time ago. It was like a pretty long time after all the stuff from Star Wars happened but like 2,000 years before the United States and the Republican Party, which is ½ the time

the Romans were prominent proto Capitalist's who were kind of like Americans but like earlier and less cool

the Romans were prominent proto Capitalist’s who were kind of like Americans but like earlier and less cool. Here’s Centurion Gaius Johnius Wayniuos

the Universe has existed. At some point, somebody, maybe Julius Caesar, invented capitalism.
Capitalism was not immediately popular although it was always the best. People were still lazy so it took a really long time to catch on. The Romans however, made some progress towards capitalism. They were the only ones who really tried to use the gold,oil and other stuff that blooms from the earth like flowers. They did pretty good but never really mastered the stuff. For example their flamethrowers totally sucked and only worked at sea! How misguided is that? They were more like “lamethrowers”. This is because even though they were Romans and better than anyone else in their time, they still just weren’t Americans. Whenever we took up their ideas we unfucked all their mistakes and did a radically more kick ass job at everything they ever tried.
Slavery and a really large prison labor population made sure people took responsibility for their lives. This was amongst the greatest accomplishments ever by non Americans in labor utilization. For a while, in a move that was early proof of the futility of generosity the Romans had the slaves wear snappy belts so they could be easily identified. But the ungrateful slaves scared the Romans out of this by being typical liberals and didn’t even say thank you. Instead they used their preponderance of numbers to intimidate their job creators. Even though the Romans took the slave belts away so the slaves could enjoy the challenge of earning them back, they had made the fatal error of generosity because they were soft pre- American Semi-capitalists. So they failed and things went to shit for a long time. Like 1/3 of the entire history of the earth.

The Romans were gifted and dedicated early innovators of War.

The Ancient Romans excelled in war. This is mostly because they really deeply and truly loved war in and of itself and partly coincidence because the Romans were like the shortest people in Europe! While most dwarf races would have just quit war right then and there and moved on to a useless pastoral existence, the Romans dug down deep and invented Atlas so he could shrug!

Venture Capitalism and their wimpy stature meant the ancient Romans pragmatically decided to fight smart and mean because to them nothing was worse than the alternative (peace). They got good at it really fast because they were constantly attacking their neighbors whether they were a threat or not or even had anything worth taking. They kicked serious fucking ass with an army that was filled with people who had to have land and money just to fight in it. They willingly and eagerly signed on for a stunning 20 year hitch in a time where people rarely hit 30. And get this, they were snobs about it too; If you couldn’t buy your

Emperor Richardus Harrissus and General Russellius Crowious were two of the most important Romans.

Emperor Richardus Harrissus and General Russellus Crowious were two of the most important Romans.

own weapons you could stay the fuck home, pussy! They probably used trained Dinosaurs to help their armies because they were super badass and did what all armies need to do. Provided an ever expanding market with limitless opportunity for their early pre American proto-Corporations.
They were already super violent and loved war so its really not surprising that this Army kicked ass like no one else until America.

Like us, they treated and paid their volunteer soldiers like shit. They motivated their military with an early commission style approach. The more people they killed and the faster they did it the more they would earn because you got to keep everything you wanted from the people you killed. This plunder oriented pay policy really put the vulture into vulture capitalism and was especially awesome at bringing a war to a quick end so that the next war could start on time.

Some of the stuff their army pulled off was fucking cray, man! It was all due to hands on management techniques like forcing 90% of their soldiers to bludgeon to death the other 10% when they lost a battle. This brilliant insight into what we would now call Human Resources and payroll reduction increased productivity immensely. So basically they almost never lost. They were like the New York Yankees of war but even better because Jeter and the rest of the bench could kill A-Rod and Joba Chamberlain after they choked in a playoff game right there in the On Deck Circle to appease the crowd!

Among other things they routinely accomplished a Hiroshima worthy level death and destruction when they were really pissed off. They invented military mind games to fuck with and kill as many people as they could in as short a time as possible. A lot of times they would look like they were wussing out and all run away. But they were actually just drawing the douchebags who were stupid enough to fuck with them into a Circle Jerk of Death because like 3 times more war starved Romans were waiting to run in from all directions and the guys who had looked all pussy-ified running away would turn around and start beating on your ass like an army of fucking Bosses. It was such a badass way to fight that no one ever lived to tell people about it so it worked all the time! They could totally fuck up your city too almost as well as a small nuclear bomb like the one the Iranians probably already have. In a brilliantly prosecuted attack on early Soviet style super pussies Carthage they managed to sterilize the soil for decades so the bad guys couldn’t get slaves of their own to grow food for them. It wasn’t done in a day because they weren’t Americans though. They just weren’t as good at things as we are.
The Roman legal system was also very innovative. People were guilty until proven innocent and didn’t have lawyers. In true shows of democracy the Romans would routinely render judgment for whimsical reasons like who a lion thought tasted best or on how loud the supporters of the accused could shout. The first approach is obviously the best but the second part is super cool too. Look how well it worked in the Jesus trial! If

Historical evidence shows that Roman peasants and slaves spent most of their time being lazy and getting stoned

Historical evidence shows that Roman peasants and slaves spent most of their time being lazy and getting stoned

they could do some kind of version of ‘the wave’ and maybe a ‘Let’s Go Yankees/ Go Barabus’ kinda chant the guy would always go free, which is pretty bitchin’ if you think about it.
The Romans society collapsed due to poor border control and immigration policies, over regulation, and wasting time on infrastructure. Roman failings include excellent roads, some of which are still being used and failed public works projects like aquaduct’s to bring water to people in cities. The Aquaduct system sapped Roman manpower and even distracted their army from war sometimes. The free aquaduc system worked perfectly for hundreds of years with little maintenance, so no one made any money off planned obsolescence. Let’s face it they were just too nice.
Eventually the non rich people started acting all crazy and complaining that the lead in the free water was no good for them in a great early display of public whining. This was also an early example of why spending money on infrastructure is a really, really bad idea. Part of the mistake was probably giving the water away for free in the first place. Their poor people were even stupider and lazier than their modern counterparts so no even bothered to invent a water filter. This is all because they were only sort of like Americans and also still had to spend a lot of time dodging marauding pterodactyls.

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