Like everyone else I’ve just had it with lying White Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders and the daily assault on civility and reality that is her White House Press Conferences. 

I admit it, I feel like Trump sends her out there for a bunch of reasons all of which are best summed up by just calling her “really hard to take”.

This post is like 6 weeks old now and I have to keep updating it due to the steady achievement of Reaching A New Low every single day!

These last few weeks its been a tough guess as to whether Sanders or Brad Pitt showers less! Forget soap dodging, thats long in the past. Shes just looks unwashed!

Her hair a filthy matted mess Sarah stumbles to the podium each day sounding just like the overprotective wife of a violent alcoholic. Trump’s not mean and stupid, we just don’t know him the way she does! He’s not ignorant, he’s resolute. And he’s not a liar! He’s just an optimist and its offensive to her we don’t see it that way.

Calls for her to resign are pretty much universal in the wake of her completely uninformed and briskly angry Stormy Daniels disaster. And by that I mean specifically the Stormy Daniels disaster where she seems to have just knowingly lied or repeatedly lied. She seemed completely out of the loop and of course was openly angry at legitimate questions as to whether she was just, you know, lying.

And then days later the meltdown disaster of refusing to apologize for staffers  gleefully but prematurely dancing on John McCain’s grave happens (theres still been no real apology). This time rather than out of the loop SHS seemed to be part of an Uncoordinated Refusal of Common Decency where she focused on the fact the meeting details were leaked. So total fail for her there. The Hits keep comin’. Again people said it was past time for Sarah to go. She has no integrity.

But no one’s resigning or getting fired anymore in Trump World. Its almost a badge of honor to the president that Scott Pruitt remains in the cabinet despite having blown tons of cash on Bond Villain stuff like  Cone of Silence (to talk to god?) a bullet proof desk, a crazy travel scandal and some illegal raises to unqualified cronies. So Sarah will probably be out there for the duration of the administration. Shes just okay with lying and simply hates the press so shes good with it.

The June 14, 2018 presser was a new low. After using the Bible as a justification to separate children from their parents at the southern border she went low and personal. She denigrated one reporter, CNN’s Jim Acosta, saying; “I realize it’s hard for you to understand…..even short sentences.” This drew some grumbling from the press and someone replied “Thats a cheap shot Sarah” Of course it was.  So now personal insults have started to creep in to the ever more rare and ever shorter pressers.

No reason is ever given for why the Presser is always at least 15 minutes late  (I think they got it from Mein Kampf) or why the Press Secretary is always “very pressed for time” when the press conference is her actual job.

Then we finally had a reporter lose their composure and demand Sanders answer a question about the incarceration of children separated from their parents by ICE over alleged immigration violations. Rather than respond Huckabee-Sanders simply accused the reporter of simply wanting more TV time and again refused to address the thrice asked question.

Of late the pressers are shorter than ever. In fact “We’re really tight in time” is the first thing Sarah Huckabee Sanders says when she finishes her scathing and untrue opening remarks (on the days she actually goes out there).

When scolding down from her high horse she’s never shy about adding several pejoratives to any statement she might have a high “Insult IQ” and an inexhaustible reservoir of bile and faux disgust. “I think the question’s offensive” she often slurs in her Old Confederacy accent. This sounds even worse when she shifts blame to former President Obama for obvious reasons.

Sean Spicer at least had some shame. Not Huckabee- Sanders. Lying, gaslighting, moving the goal posts and good old Nazi “Them-ism” are favorite tactics.

Does anyone really think her brisk angry nature, her lack of civility and the ease with which she insults reporters aren’t the very reason she was given this job? Let’s  be honest the SHS Presser is an assault on all senses.

Spmetomes there’s a ‘Special Guest’ who totally doesn’t need to be there. Usually a deputy cabinet minister. On especially truthless days we get a letter written by a child who admires the president and whose ”going to meet the president”. No pictures ever emerge and no one seems to want to ask why these admiring children sound just like Trump himself. So her opening act is bullshit followed by pure lies.

If the Presser features someone like a Mnuchin they will jump right in to a very abstract but lengthy story of some sort of prosperity scheme, usually enabled through taking things away from the poorest most vulnerable Americans. This is like watching the trailer for a movie that never should have been made. In other words, it lowers expectations.

Then Sarah herself takes the stage. Its difficult not just to go after her in the way her boss Trump goes after women, because someone that crass could have a field day. She would deserve it for enabling Trump. I don’t need to go there.  Instead I’ll stick with the things she controls that make her horrible. Like lying.

Most days Sarah comes to the White House Press Room podium dressed like a villainness from an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. There’s no telling which dysfunctional planet she’ll be dressed like on any given day but certainly we’ve seen Klingon and Romulan inspired outfits. Sometimes she likes a short leather skirt and Go-Go boots with off the shoulder flowing black garments inspired by ancient Greece, which is ironic as the Ancient Greeks had a democracy.

Other times she’s dressed like the Quaker Oats guy’s daughter or something. Another recurring look is something along the lines of Glen Close from Guardians of the Galaxy.

We all know Sara is right-handed based on her completely asymmetric eyebrow tweezing. She looks like 2 different people depending when she turns profile one way or the other. This probably helps keep people’s expectations low as she verbally assaults the White House Press Corpse, belaboring a point like an angry grammar school principal scolding the wild kids in the lunchroom. “Fake News” and “Enemy of the State” are terms we’ve all heard her use again and again.

So at the end of the day if Trump is held legally accountable for all his dickish acts and criminality; will Sarah Huckabee Sanders end up in jail too? It’s not impossible.

With Hope Hicks appearing sort of prison-bound and now long gone from the White House Communications office, what SHS says is more on HER that ever before. While Hope Hicks had her job she simply sat off to the side, phone in hand, glaring at Spicer and later Huckabee Sanders as they dealt with the press. Seemed like Hope Hicks was in very much in charge. Until we hear different it’s a safe bet that the job of ginning up that days lies is Sanders gig now. Sure it still all comes from Trump, but he has some very real problems of his own.

What kind of problems could SHS have? For starters she’s kind of slandered the 19 accusers who claim Trump sexually assaulted them. Yup, she said the words “They’re all lying.” She may have furthered some lies about Stormy Daniels aka Stephanie Clifford a few times in the couple of weeks.

And then there’s stuff much closer to Treason. Like when she knowingly deceives the American people on behalf of Trummp.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders accepts a tax payer paid salary to deliver lies on behalf of a criminal. possibly treasonous president. I for one hope when all this shakes out and people get tossed in jail we get to see SHS showing off the newest Trump fashion jewelry – HANDCUFFS.

We all know Trump is lying. Can anyone doubt Huckabee-Sanders knows that too? How hard could it be to convict her right now of furthering a criminal enterprise? And how much deeper is the hole she’s digging herself into going to be now that she’s that much more responsible for what she says?

I really hope she spends a few years in jail.

Lock her up.

Updated 5-17-18, 6-15, 6-17